Today is 3 months since she passed away. I don't even know how to feel because I hate her so much for what she did. She ruined my life and she enjoyed it. We were best friends for so along and I have more good memories with her than bad memories
I see our old friends at school and I remember how in the mornings we'd be sitting at the tables in front of the cafeteria listening to high school musical while doing homework. Half the time she was eating and singing rather doing her homework. She'd be stuffing her face with marshmallows and trying to sing. She'd be trying to force the boyfriends to sit with us. She would always force josh to be next to her, she'd say do you love me josh?? In her crazy fake voice. It's not fair that she's gone, I know that if she were still here, I'd see her at school and probably lose my mind because I would have so much anger built up that I would want to kill her. I would panic just like the way I did the day I saw her 3 days before she died at target. I was thinking " I hope she gets hit by a truck.. " she kept following me. I had texted my sister that I saw her and we were both disgusted. So many people act like they knew her, when they didn't.
I believe the dream I had was sent to me by her.. possibly as an apology. I don't know
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grief & relief
RandomPublished July 8th, 2017. Just writing my thoughts about a loss that has recently happened to me.. My grief along with very mixed feelings. All real. Very personal and just a journal.
