Just writing my thoughts about a loss that has recently happened to me..
My grief along with very mixed feelings.
All real. Very personal and just a journal.
Published July 8th, 2017.
I don't know how you keep coming up in conversations, but I saw K🐩 today and felt really sad. She has glasses and blonde highlights now, I almost didn't recognize her until I saw the backpack. I don't know how this conversation started but we were talking about how I'd see K🐩. Lisa mentioned ❌. My sister said she's a new person now that you're gone she's because no longer your puppet. My mom asked if all of the children hang out together despite you not being there to force them. When we said yes but that we were surprised. It's because she isolated you guys for so long.. You're all each other had. " maybe she's still controlling them from the grave. Maybe she's visiting them in their dreams." I dream of you a lot, I think of you a lot. Of the dream I had where you apologized. " Maybe your feeling guilty, because you always wished for her to die? " Should I feel guilty? You wanted me to die of my disease, you wanted me to not wake up when I had my seizures. I was saying that you're the reason why I don't want any friends, because it would hurt too much to make some and then have them taken away, like you did to me. I CANT make friends because I'm scared that they'll be taken. Maybe I am feeling guilty that you died. Scratch that, I DO feel guilty that you died. But it kills me to know you will never answer the question that I have. You took that with you.
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