It's been one year without you. ONE YEAR. One year since you never woke up after barely being sick with the flu and food poisoning. Last night at like 3 AM I started watching your old YouTube videos, just hearing you introduce yourself and talking about school broke my heart. Seeing your smile ( even though it was fake as hell in that video ) was something that I didn't expect to make me emotional. How did you leave? Were you asleep and passed away in peace? Or were you struggling? I absolutely hope you went in peace.
Planning a birthday party for today was bittersweet because you will never have another physical birthday ever, the combination of birth and death is saddening.
The anniversary posts haven't come up thank god and I'm thankful because I don't think I could handle it.
It's really been a year since you left this world. It still doesn't seem real. Reminders of you are everywhere and I just can't handle it.
Someone got a tattoo for you.
K🐢brought you flowers today.
I can't imagine how your family might be feeling.
My heart is breaking.
YOU ARE READING
grief & relief
RandomJust writing my thoughts about a loss that has recently happened to me.. My grief along with very mixed feelings. All real. Very personal and just a journal. Published July 8th, 2017.
