Decades

The Party's Over

After another drink, she'd lost count of how many she'd had. Stevie looked around for what's his name, the cute journalist guy. He seemed to have disappeared, which was fine. She was drunk enough now to sleep fine alone, she supposed. She didn't want the regret that sometimes came with waking up beside a stranger.

She naturally scanned the room for Lindsey too, but didn't see him. She would have felt his presence if he'd been in the same room, he must have left. She wondered why he'd looked at her so angrily earlier. What was that about?

She wasn't the steadiest on her feet as she walked back through the open door to the balcony. There was a pair of chaise lounges there, and they looked awfully comfortable, so she kicked off her boots, tucked her feet underneath her, and curled up to take in the view. It really was beautiful, and she was sad that she didn't have anyone to enjoy it with.

She rattled the ice cubes in her glass and thought about Don. He'd been really kind after taking such good care of her following the abortion, and they'd become closer when she'd visited him on the road. There was absolutely a spark. He continued to spoil her from afar with gifts and flowers and romantic gestures. 

He was even helping her with a song she was writing for another musician and his wife that was coming along nicely. Their sex life was satisfying enough, nothing like what she'd experienced with Lindsey, but she couldn't really expect that, she didn't think. 

Maybe they had a future. They simply weren't in the same place long enough for that spark to actually catch fire. She'd keep trying, though, she supposed. She'd be a fool not to. He was handsome and talented and would be a dream for any girl.

She was trying to put her finger on exactly what it was that didn't exactly work for her. She knew it wasn't simply the distance that caused her to hold back. Was it the abortion? It had been the right move for both of their careers and on a personal level as well. But had it cast a shadow on their relationship? Or had the fact that she was devastated that she'd become pregnant by someone other than Lindsey been the problem? They'd been dating before she rekindled things with Lindsey. And you shouldn't be disappointed when the person you're dating is the father when you find yourself pregnant, right?

There wasn't exactly a lack of chemistry. But the chemistry simply wasn't as intense as her chemistry with Lindsey. She needed to face the facts. That kind of chemistry is the once-in-a-lifetime kind. The thought that she'd never experience such overwhelming magic again felt so tragic. It would have been easier to have never felt those things than to know they had existed but were gone from her life.

"Stop it, Stevie," she implored herself. "Stop comparing everyone in your life to Lindsey. Stop trying to convince yourself that Lindsey Buckingham was your unicorn. He wasn't. If he had been, he'd be here on this balcony beside you right now."

She closed her eyes and fought not to spill the tears that threatened to come. She was so fucking sad. Drunk and alone, even if the loneliness she felt struck in the middle of a party in her own band's honor. The tears were coming now, and she gave up on trying to fight them. She simply closed her eyes and let them flow.

Startling her, she felt a warm hand wiping away her tears. She opened her eyes, and Lindsey was standing beside her. She blinked a little disbelievingly, but it was him. He was here on this lonely balcony with her.

He reached down and ran his hand along her tear-streaked cheek. He gave her a long look, his head tilted to the side, taking in her beauty and her sadness. His feelings for her were hard to keep up with. One minute, he was angry and wanted to punish her. The next minute, he wanted to care for her. He pulled the second chaise lounge close to hers and lay down beside her, turning on his side facing her.