Decades

So Much Uglier

"Come out here, Mick. You need to finish the rest of this media junket or send Chris or John. I'm out of here," Lindsey emphatically explained. "I can't spend another day with this psychotic bitch. She can do it alone, or you can come. But I'm out of here."

"Lindsey, it can't be that bad. You have a job to do. People depend on you, and not just the band, but our entire team. We have contracts to fulfill. People have bills to pay. The two of you need to grow up," Mick exclaimed. "I mean it. You're going just going to have to sort yourselves out. You have four more days. You can suck it up and manage that like a fucking professional, I'm sure."

Mick pictured this trip going wholly differently than it seemed to be going. Maybe with some time, things will resolve themselves. Or maybe things will blow up completely, and the band will fall apart. With Lindsey and Stevie being so impulsive and dramatic, there's never any telling how things will be from one minute to the next.

"Listen," Mick softened, "if things get worse, give me a call—otherwise, chin up, Lindsey. You've handled Stevie for years. I'm sure you can do it for four more short days."

—---------------

Stevie had tried to catch Lindsey as he left her room. But, by the time she'd pulled on her robe, he was nowhere to be found. He didn't answer the door to his room, and Stevie had no idea where he would have gone. She knew it was a mistake. The press had followed their every move since Rumours was catapulted into the stratosphere years earlier.

She didn't feel like she could just do nothing. So, she got on the elevator in her robe, trying to find him in the lobby. He had disappeared. She didn't even care about the sound of cameras when she walked through the lobby.

It had been two hours since she'd acted like a complete madwoman, and she sat alone, stunned by her own behavior. She'd tried so hard to get a reaction out of him that she finally had. Just not the one she wanted. She'd cut him deeply.

She recognized it as soon as she did it, but it was too late to stop herself by the time she realized the extent of the damage. She hated herself so much. She wasn't sure why the comment about Don seemed to be the one that did it. Lindsey could have had Stevie. She'd offered herself to him, and she'd meant it. Stevie was going to break up with Don to be with him once the tour began. He knew that Don wasn't who she wanted. She had told him a million times.

She returned to her room. Thinking some coke would help but ended up doing so much that she felt entirely too wired. She had a drink, which seemed to intensify the weird feelings she was having. And it still wasn't even noon yet.

Her heart was beating out of her chest, and she was experiencing too many emotions at once. She was miserable and could use a joint to take her down a notch or two. But, of course, she'd have gotten it from Lindsey, so she was out of luck.

She called his room again and again and wandered down to knock several times. But, no communication was happening.

All of her anger with him had ebbed once she realized she'd actually hurt him. She wanted him mad. She wanted angry sex with him. She wanted to prove he couldn't pull strings behind her back and control her. She was the one with the right to be mad, yet any righteous anger she'd had had dissipated.

She wanted anything but this.

"You are such a fool," she berated herself again and again. Why had things gone from beautiful a few months ago to ugly this quickly? What the hell happened?

—-------------

For months, Lindsey had wondered about Stevie's feelings for him and her feelings for Henley. She'd led him to believe she only wanted him, and like a fool, he'd believed her. Until he saw her dropping her robe so he'd carry her off to bed, and any illusions he'd had about her were gone.

He supposed a fuck-drunk Stevie would say anything if she were physically enjoying herself and wanted to get her way. Lindsey figured nobody was at their most honest when they were naked and horny. She'd taken things entirely too far with promises of a future.

But, this morning, she'd finally spelled it out for him. As much as he'd hoped differently, now he knew the truth. He'd been something to do to keep her occupied while Don was away. It was better to know how she really felt rather than to continue with the delusion that he mattered to her, even if it had hurt like hell.

He would never trust her again.

Period.

He hated her and hated knowing they had to tour together, sing together night after night, smile for the audiences, and act like a former couple who still cared about each other. He hated he'd have to hear her voice blend with his. And he knew he never wanted to work on her songs again.

She had led him on, and she had used him. The reason for which he didn't think he'd ever understand. Was she so cruel that she did it simply to hurt him?

Like Stevie, he wondered why he was such a fool.

He couldn't wait to get home. Stevie's admission about Don made him consider his relationship with Carol Ann. It was simple, and she was always ready to please. She never tried to hurt him and was quick to forgive him when he mistreated her.

He'd often thought of Stevie when he was intimate with Carol Ann. He'd be ashamed to admit how often. But he also imagined Stevie taking Carol Ann's place outside the bedroom.

But, after realizing things were never going to work with Stevie, she saw him the way he saw Carol Ann. He imagined it was time that he transferred his focus to Carol Ann. Lindsey knew it was an easier relationship. He didn't have the same deep feelings for her as he had for Stevie, giving him some power and insulating him against any power she might otherwise be able to hold over him. He couldn't be manipulated by Carol Ann. It was so much safer for him, even if her cocaine addiction was as bad as Stevie's.

—--------------

Stevie intended to talk to Lindsey before the next round of interviews. Her stomach was in knots. They sometimes said awful things to each other. He'd said cruel things to her plenty of times. He'd know that she didn't mean it. If he'd let her get close enough to touch him and look into his eyes, he'd know the truth.

When the limo arrived, Lindsey was nowhere to be found. Stevie took her time getting into the car, signing autographs, and smiling for photographers, though inside, she was crumbling. She asked the driver to wait for him, but he informed her that he'd already dropped Lindsey off at the studio half an hour earlier. So, she got in and went alone, feeling a queasiness in the pit of her stomach that she hated. She needed to speak to him before they sat down with the press.

—-------------

Lindsey was already seated for the first interview when Stevie entered the building. Neither realized how much uglier things were about to get.