Decades

You'll Know

Stevie unlocked the door to her opulent suite. She slipped her boots off of her aching feet and left them by the front door. She quietly wandered into the living area that overlooked the lights of the city. She smelled the joint he was smoking and could hear Lindsey picking a sad tune on his guitar. The sun would be rising in another hour or two, and she had expected him to be asleep by now.

She'd partaken in a few too many recreational aids tonight and felt shaky and unsteady. Her heart was racing, and knowing Lindsey had been up waiting on her made her anxious. She wasn't sure what she was walking into with him. His jealousy had always been volatile, and she'd been out a lot later than he would have expected.

Lindsey's imagination was running wild tonight. He was afraid she wouldn't come back, and each hour she was away, his anxiety grew. He was distracting himself with marijuana and music, as was his custom. He'd gone through the five stages of grief and back again tonight.

The acceptance phase never seemed to stick, and he'd start over. Or he'd just randomly feel angry and then find himself bargaining with whatever woo-woo forces that Stevie believed in to bring her back to him. When she finally snuck in, he was in a depressed phase.

Stevie walked behind where he sat, facing the skyline, and put her hands on his shoulders, reaching to take the joint from his lips. She took a long drag and handed it back to him. He caught her hand in his, and she bent forward and softly kissed the top of his head.

He looked up at her, and her heart skipped at the look of relief she saw in his eyes. His entire posture changed as if the tension was leaving his body when he felt her touch. She walked around to the chair he was sitting in, put his guitar aside, and climbed onto his lap. He looked so vulnerable.

They sat and stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, sharing the joint. Stevie was relieved to come down some from how anxious she was feeling. Lindsey's stroked her hair and let his thumb trace the outline of her cheek. With the back of his hand, he wiped away the beginning of tears. He looked away and chuckled a little to conceal his embarrassment.

Stevie leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply, her hands stroking his neck and hair. She felt his tears on her cheeks and pulled away to look at him. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, "God, I'm high," he said as a way of excusing his emotions.

"I love you so much, Lindsey. You know that, don't you?" Stevie snuggled her face into his neck. He found that he wasn't able to speak while he struggled to regain his composure.

"I was scared you weren't coming back to me," Lindsey sobbed. Lindsey had been angry and jealous many times. He'd raged and punched things, yelled at her, and broke things at times. And, of course, she'd seen him cry when things were falling apart between them. He'd always been emotional, but this fear wasn't something he often let her see. Seeing him this vulnerable was heartbreaking. She hated that their past had left him this distrustful of her feelings for him.

The raw emotions he was experiencing left him feeling too exposed, and he looked away from her gaze.

"Look at me, Lindsey," she demanded. He slowly raised his sad eyes to meet hers. "I will always come back to you, do you hear me?" He gave her a shrug, fighting back the tears. "Always, Lindsey. Always. I will always come back to you."

The tears in his eyes and his skepticalness of her love and loyalty to him started Stevie's tears flowing, too. She kissed his wet cheeks and smoothed the tears away with her thumbs. "Always, Lindsey," she pulled away to make eye contact with him again.

He caught her face between his hands and kissed away her tears before bringing his salty lips to hers. They kissed slowly and lovingly as they'd done all those years ago when they first fell in love. "I just love you too much. I was scared you'd decide you wanted," he avoided using the other man's name, "something else. I couldn't handle it if you left me again." Stevie wrapped her arms around his neck and held him while he cried.