Decades

The Great Divide

Lindsey didn't sleep at all. His anxiety was at an all-time high. He'd finally worked things out with Stevie, and the last months had been the best he'd had in years. Having her by his side again had opened up his life creatively and personally. Performing beside her and the warmth they shared had been so special. It felt like his life had finally become what he'd always wanted. But he'd made a mistake that had changed everything.

Now, he just had to find a way to get past it. He couldn't spend the rest of his life without Stevie. They both knew they were made for each other. Their voices and their bodies fit together too well to deny it.

Kristen was having the baby. Lindsey hadn't thought of being a father in years. In his mind, that ship had sailed. The woman whom he was currently hanging on to as if his life depended on it was the only person he'd truly imagined a family with. He was going to be a father, though, in five short months, between this moment and that baby's birth, a lot of things needed to be settled.

He had to get Stevie to forgive him. But how? How could he win her over after asking her to trust him with her heart, and then, when she finally did, he broke it? God, he hated himself. Maybe he could win her over, and the two of them could co-parent with Kristen.

He was sure the younger woman wouldn't be thrilled with the idea at first, but she'd see how wonderful Stevie was with kids and would be relieved to have her around rather than just himself, Lindsey thought. But he'd have to talk Stevie into that plan, too, and he wasn't sure how receptive she'd be to that idea.

Stevie had also spent most of the night awake, thinking things through. She was unhappy with the choice she'd landed on, but she knew it was the only one she could make. She didn't trust Lindsey anymore, and she was certain she wouldn't get over it.

She felt him silently pressing his lips to her shoulder, and instead of being warmed by the gesture, her blood boiled. When he'd come back to her, she'd been so thankful. But, only hours earlier, he'd been impregnating a woman who was young enough to be her daughter. He'd promised her, shortly before making a baby with the younger woman, that he wanted nothing in life but her.

He hadn't even told her about it when they were together. He just slipped back into her bed as if he hadn't just been intimate with another woman. Without warning, a mental picture of him making love to another woman was one she couldn't push away. Immediately, she felt insecure about the comparisons he must have made. Though they should have been the least of her concerns, they played out in her mind.

The thoughts made Stevie attempt to move her body away from Lindsey's. Lindsey felt her pulling away, and it caused a lump in his throat. He understood this wasn't her simply readjusting to get comfortable. She wanted to get away from him. And he wasn't allowing her to escape his touch. His arms encircled her tightly, attempting to imprison her in his love. He held her firmly in place.

For a few moments, she lay there, defeated, as she felt tears slide down her face. But she determined that she was stronger than this. She wouldn't excuse his behavior so she could remain in his arms, even if that's where she most wanted to be.

Even if she could forgive Lindsey for his transgressions, he was still going to be a father. He'd wanted children, she knew that. And now, he'd have one of his own with a young woman with whom he could build a life. Her heart ached at giving him up. She knew it would hurt more badly than any other loss because she'd be coping with it sober and alone.

Stevie gave herself a pep talk of sorts. She reminded herself that she was a grown woman, and she'd lost love before. She had lost Lindsey, even. She knew how hard it would be to get over him. They had been so close to making it. But she knew what she had to do. And she knew she could. She'd have to be careful not to find pharmaceutical methods of coping. But, even if she fell into those patterns, an addiction to drugs would be easier to beat than her addiction to this man.