Decades

Sometimes Cold Wars End. Right?

Lindsey was still resisting the urge to go straight to Stevie. He'd planted himself near the table where the bar was set up. There was a large gilded mirror where he could stealthily watch her. He felt ridiculous and was willing himself to walk away and find someone to chat with, but being that close to her and being able to see her without her knowing he was watching was hard to resist.

Her hair was curlier than the last time he'd seen her, and her face looked sad, even though she smiled sweetly at the group she was chatting with. She glanced around the room discreetly, and he wondered if she was looking for him. Someone offered to take her coat and scarf. Lindsey watched as she seemed to hesitate for a brief second. A micro gesture that no one else would have caught. She'd been fidgeting with the scarf and seemed to hate to give it up before taking it off. She needed something to do with her hands, Lindsey thought.

She'd always held court everywhere she went. Even as they advanced in years, people gravitated toward her like planets orbiting the sun. "Or maybe that's just me," thought Lindsey, longing to bask in her warmth once again rather than remain in this outer darkness where she'd cast him.

Melancholy washed over him as he wondered for the millionth time where things had gone wrong. They'd had chances. Still, they'd managed again and again to fuck them up.

Lindsey would be polite today. He knew Stevie was hurting, probably more than he was. John may be the only one taking it harder. But Chris's loss was so fresh, and he knew how deeply Stevie felt things. As angry as he'd been, or as upset as he was that she had chosen to freeze him out of her life completely, he wouldn't use today to lash out at her.

On the drive over, he thought about trying to get her alone, even though he'd talked himself out of it as he lay awake last night thinking about this reunion. If he could get her to himself, he could hash everything out, and he was sure she'd come around. He tried to convince himself that there would be other times to do that, and today wasn't appropriate. But he wasn't sure there would be another time.

Stevie had insulated herself from everyone except her inner circle. To get to Stevie was to be approved by her chain of command, topped by Karen. Karen was protective of Stevie and understood more than probably anyone else about things that had happened, or at least how Stevie reported them. Lindsey couldn't get past any of Stevie's lines of defense to be able to communicate with her. He would try to be selfless today and let her grieve rather than push her to communicate with him. He hoped he would be up to the task.

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Stevie had fretted about today. She was heartbroken over Chris's death, and she yearned to be with the other people who understood that loss and were feeling it, too. Especially the band members. And when she thought of the band members of Fleetwood Mac, she always thought of Lindsey.

She'd spotted him soon, almost as soon as she'd walked in the door. She did her best to ignore him watching her in the mirror. Stevie wasn't sure whether she should go to him and break the uncomfortable silence, speak to him politely, so she'd be able to be present for Christine's memorial rather than constantly conscious of Lindsey's presence and wondering if they'd have any interaction.

"Christine would roll her eyes and laugh that even at her fucking memorial service, Lindsey and I were still playing the same game as we'd been playing for years when we were on the outs and at the same party, in the same dressing room, or on the plane. Some things never change. Even if they should," Stevie thought to herself, missing the last part of the conversation she was only barely following. She so wished she'd look over at her piano, which was beautifully loaded with flowers, and see her old friend picking out a tune.

There were photos displayed everywhere, many of them Stevie didn't remember being taken. But, they brought back a flood of memories. They'd been so young and fun and beautiful. They'd also been broken-hearted and tortured at times. But Stevie would still go back in a heartbeat. Especially if she could return equipped with the knowledge and wisdom, those decades helped her to acquire.