Decades

Never Going Back Again

Lindsey had no idea how to proceed, not in the next minute, not in the next days, or weeks. He followed his wife to their suite with their two small kids. He didn't know what else to do.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her hand resting on her stomach, her small bump not quite obvious when she was dressed. He didn't want to hurt her. He couldn't imagine what a jerk he'd have to be to leave her while she was expecting.

His instincts were sending him such mixed messages. He was torn between obligation and a deep love for his children and the love of his life. He knew he'd divided himself in a way that wouldn't allow any of them to be totally happy.

Kristen offered to take a nap with the kids if he wanted to go back out to the pool and hang out with the guys, claiming she was exhausted from yesterday's traveling. Will wasn't interested in napping and begged to go back to the pool with Lindsey, so the two of them made their way back outside.

Kristen could feel Lindsey's trepidation and didn't want him to tell her any news that would alter her world. She just couldn't take it. She'd tiptoed around him all morning. She knew asking him to love her and only her was too much to ask of him. He couldn't do it. But, maybe if he'd just stay with her and the kids, that might be enough. She could continue to look the other way as far as he and Stevie were involved. She'd done it for years.

Last night, when Lindsey had finally come back to their casita, he hadn't come to bed. Instead, he'd curled up on the sofa in the living area. He had on the jeans he'd taken off in the bathroom when they'd come in late last night, not wanting to wake her while looking for dry clothes. His wet pajama bottoms hung on the towel holder in the bathroom. Knowing full well how they'd become wet, she hadn't bothered asking him about them, afraid he'd lie to her.

As he left for the pool, Kristen's eyes stung with emerging tears and exhaustion. Their lives were so complicated. She had so many regrets. She'd married a man who would never be hers.

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Stevie hadn't bothered unpacking last night. So, there was nothing for her to do. She had a couple of hours to kill before the car taking her to the airport was due to arrive. She certainly didn't feel very social, and she wasn't keen on explaining why she was leaving to everyone there. So, she slipped out to her porch with her journal and sat in the shade. She'd write Chris a note explaining why she was leaving, and she'd ask her to tell Mick and John.

As she wrote, she was lost in her own world until she heard Mick walking up the stairs to her porch. "I was worried about you," he told her, "We haven't seen you since we arrived."

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired."

"I heard you'd ordered a car. Are you skipping out on us? Band holiday, bonding time, you don't want to miss it!"

"Yeah, I think I'm going to start making my way to Dallas tonight, get settled in, and relax before the show. I need some quiet time," Stevie told him.

Mick was buying none of it. "Where's Edward? How come he left?"

Stevie shot him a pointed look that he could detect even through her dark sunglasses. "Well, he's gone. It's fine. We just decided things weren't working between us."

"He drove the entire day with someone else's children to spend the weekend with you, Stevie. And he just decided upon arrival that he wasn't interested?" Mick pressed.

Stevie doodled in her journal and just shrugged.

"Anything to do with a certain temperamental guitarist?" Mick continued to question.

"Knock it off, Mick. We're not doing this, okay?" Stevie said, hoping to end this line of questioning.

"Lindsey looks like he's been hit by a truck. Care to tell me what happened?"