S.H.I.E.L.D ACADEMY

70. Lack of vision

Steve's body laid still beside yours. His hands had been wrapped tightly around you, but you had long ago whirled yourself out of his grip. Your hands were crossed as you stared up at the roof. It was no way you were going to be able to sleep. You had laid there for hours already. Your whole body was boiling. You had too many questions to yourself and to Bucky. You needed answers, but leaving was not a choice. Steve would've heard you the second you moved.

Why did you kiss Bucky? You didn't feel anything for him? Or did you? You should have feelings for him, as you were far from the kind of person who would randomly kiss a guy. You swallowed low. No. Bucky was an exception. You did not have feelings for him. It was only the setting that made you do it. No other reason.

Or... did you sabotage this because you deep down knew the truth. The truth that people around both you and Steve had on their lips the last few weeks. There was no real chance of you and Steve being truly together. It was just a ridiculous bubble that the two of you had built. Something had to burst that bubble, and it had to be you.

Of course, it had to be you.

You didn't have time for these human mistakes of yours. You were doing so well at the academy right now. Your mentors were actually chanting for you, they were lifting you up. You were creating things that had never been seen before. Your computer was your best friend. Only trustworthy partners.

Your heart couldn't hold it anymore.

Quickly you stood up and got dressed, and ran out the door before Steve could even process what had happened. You breathed heavily when you finally came out on the streets. The sun was burning. You needed to hide. More than anything, you wanted to run to Tony or Fatima and scream out what had happened, but you knew you couldn't tell them anything. You were trapped here.

You had escaped to your only safe place. The academy lab. It was the weekend, but your professor had already granted you 24/7 access. You dropped your things on the desk as you pulled out all your equipment.

"Hi, N.O.R.A ready to work?" You said loud, pulling your hair up in a ponytail.

"Hi Y/N, Of course, resetting to where we left," the A.I answered back.

Yes, you had created your own little F.R.I.D.A.Y inspired by Stark called N.O.R.A, you liked to think of them as siblings. NORA worked way better in your opinion. Stark had yet to meet her and judge her. You looked up at the data in front of you. You wanted to care, you wanted to fix it, but your heart was still filled with guilt.

You closed your eyes, and covered your face with your hands. What's worse than the fact that you had kissed Bucky, was that if you were being honest, this wasn't the first time you had kissed a man, while still being connected to Steve. Though you were on a break, it was kissing Matthew that made you realize you wanted to go back to Steve.

Not because there was anything wrong with Matthew, he was in many ways perfect, but it was the fact that Matthew made you release you needed more than security, you needed the emotional side. You needed the thrill ride. Which Grant couldn't give you at the time. However Steve and Matthew could.

Matthew...

You stood up.

"NORA do you still have the hard drive from mission beatles?" You asked.

"Only the files of the security risks were accessed, rest was locked and destroyed to not be accessed," NORA asked back.

Lies, anyone could be opened up again.

"We're gonna rebuild the exact same files, give me these..." You began tapping on the table as you began to code.

"My apologies Y/n but it is not possible to- '' NORA began.

"Don't tell me what I can or cannot do!" You shouted, staring into empty air.

You got silent.

 

Why were you angry at a machine? It was not the A.I's fault. It just didn't know its true potential yet. You closed your lips together. You needed to focus. NORA was right. Technically it shouldn't be possible. Not only shouldn't, but it had never been done. You swore low, as you began working. It had gotten late at night when it unlocked.

You jumped up cheering as you felt a tear falling down. See? It was never too late for anything to heal and open up.

Your heart was knocking as you scanned the files. This was heavy crimes documented, as everyone already knew from the meeting you got kicked off the Avengers. You were absolutely still bitter about it. You felt your body tense up as you scrolled through the files. Ah, the file of what must have been Matthew's ex appeared. A woman murdering people, covered in all red, just like his silly costume. You swallowed low as you skipped through. God, people must believe you were stuck in the past, but it was more than that behind it.

There.

Pictures of MI5's.

You jumped up on the desk. You wore a ridiculous "I love New York" t-shirt you had brought in a stall on the way over here, and some joggers with your massive jacket over. You definitely looked like any homeless person on the street. You had been awake for way too long, but you had not given up. Something was not right. You stopped by one particular photograph. It was something familiar with one of the guys in the background. You didn't know what, and none of your systems could identify him either. Which made you feel even more uneasy. Good people didn't need to hide. You knew all about that yourself.

Without even thinking about it you bought a ticket to London. You needed answers and you needed them now. It was no way anyone was going to let you just go. Steve would think it's too dangerous, and Tony wouldn't be able to keep it secret from him. The flight was about to leave in 5 hours, so you needed to pack everything up and leave. Bigger challenge was trying to make it look like a non suspicious trip. Your bet was that Steve was already worried, but you had even left the phone at his.

You left a note on the desk for the professor to see, she would know the right people to show it to. You asked NORA to pack up all the files and fix the documents you needed. You collected it all up as you pulled up your hoodie walking out to the hallway. You held your head down as you stormed down the stairs of the academy when someone came bumping into you. Everything fell down the stairs. You desperately tried to pick it all up.

"Watch where you're walking!" You shouted in annoyance on your knees.

a familiar dark voice laughed.

"Vision isn't my strongest suit," Matthew Murdock said with a smirk.