My Rockstar's World

Chapter 11

A yawn escapes my mouth, and I don't even care to cover it with my hand. We drove back on the tour bus late last night, and I got home around 4:00am. Bawdy tried to convince me that we should just leave during the day on Monday, but unfortunately I needed to make it to my 9:00am.

Asking when we were coming back should have been a question before I left, but it was so spontaneous that I wasn't even thinking about the real world. It felt like such a dream having so much fun with him all weekend.

And now I'm back to my everyday mundane school routine. We spend so much time learning and working, doing similar things most days. It's crazy to think about how we don't get to really live like we want to expect for a couple fun times a year if we're lucky.

But, I guess that doesn't apply to everyone, because Bawdy and his band get to live their dreams every day. Bawdy is wildly successful and can have as much fun as he wants while I'm sitting here tuning out the drawl of my professor.

After class, Iris and I go to get bagels and coffee. I haven't eaten anything besides Advil since I left Vegas last night.

I catch Iris up on my weekend recap, omitting the details of our sex and the vibrator shenanigans completely. "You actually did it. Holy fuck, Gianna you fucked a rockstar." Iris stares at me in disbelief.

I can barely believe it myself, and I was there, experiencing every bit of feeling and pleasure that he sent through my body.

"I know and Bawdy of all people." I shake my head as I take a sip of my coffee. "Too bad I barely got any work done over the weekend. I wish I could have planned ahead."

I'm especially fucked for my seminar project and some other assignments for that course that are due this week. I'm not looking forward to heading to that class in the afternoon. I didn't get to submit an assignment over the weekend, and I'm trying not to beat myself up about it.

"But, it is senior year. We all need to enjoy ourselves before entering the real world."

Iris is right. But, I can't even enter the real world if I completely fail my classes. If I can't keep my grades up, then I'll lose my scholarship for spring, and I absolutely can't let that happen.

Iris eventually heads to her class, and I buy another coffee before heading to mine.

Walking into class, Charlie waves to me, and I take a seat next to him. "Long night?" He asked, taking a look at my large coffee and darkening eye bags. I'm not sure how publicly vocal I should be about Bawdy, so I decide to keep that just between me and my best friends.

"Yeah, a busy weekend. How are you?" I pull out my laptop, even though I doubt my brain has enough power to take any cohesive notes during class.

"I'm good. I tried starting our assignments, but some of the questions are so technical it's taking me forever to get through them."

"I haven't even started." I groan. I hate technical assignments. At least just let me take some cool pictures.

"If you're free this week and want to work on anything together, I'd be down."

"Sure, I'll let you know. I'm just trying to make it through today right now."

Our lecture starts, and I try my best to focus. Looking around at every in the room, I think about how none of them were probably in Vegas over the weekend or at least not with a literal rockstar. Although I had such an exciting weekend, I'm just back here.

After taking a small nap, I head to work. Luckily, I only have two photoshoots to do and edit. My manager, Hazel, is also working today and checks in on me. "How's school going? Do you know where you'll be applying to for when you graduate?"

Oh, the never ending questioning about what I'm going to do with my life. Hazel is sweet, and I know she's just asking to be friendly. I know that everyone means well when asking, but all it does is give me more anxiety about my impending future. I really hate being asked all the fucking time.

My tiredness isn't helping my temper either. I take a deep breathe and compose myself. Time to put on my well-behaved, fake as fuck customer service voice.

"Getting into a busier part of the semester, but it's good! I still have next semester to really figure it all out," I say with a fake smile that hopefully comes off as genuine.

"It's never too early to start looking. And you know you can always put me as a reference."

Okay, maybe my smile didn't need to be that fake. Hazel means well. I'm just fighting to stay awake and pleasant. I wholeheartedly know that I'm the problem here.

"Thank you, that means a lot. I'll keep you updated!"

It feels like it's still too early to start applying for jobs. I guess everyone who is applying to graduate programs is in the middle of applications. I know friends who have already been offered jobs from previous internships. Any photography based internship that I found either didn't pay or required me to relocate for the summer. Both were options that just didn't work for my life.

I get back to work editing, trying to refocus my spiraling brain. Now is not the time to be worrying about the far away future when I need to worry about getting through this week. It sucks that I have such an amazing weekend and then get pulled back into worrying about real world shit.

Nothing good can last forever I guess.

My mood immediately lightens when I get a text from Bawdy.

Bawdy: Hope you're having a good day, baby girl.

A text so simple has me smiling from ear to ear. The simplicity of his text may not come off as anything outwardly romantic, but I'm not used to anyone checking in on me.

Gianna: A bit tired but making it through the day.

Bawdy: I have a show in Miami this weekend. I'd love to bring you with. I just found out I need to head there tomorrow for some meetings.

Every ounce of me wants to say yes. To spend almost a full week with him in Florida, living my illusion of my best life would be amazing. Unfortunately, I know that I need to live in reality, and I'm going to be drowning in work this weekend. Anyways, I can't just miss class for the rest of the week, and I have another shift this week.

Gianna: I'd love to, but I have so much to do for school. I'll see you when you get back?

I really hope he says yes. I need to see him again. After spending all weekend with him, I'm already feeling deprived.

Bawdy: Won't be as fun without you. I'll make it up to you when I get back.

My heart rate increases. This week is not going to be fun, but knowing that I have something to look forward to when he gets back is enough motivation for me to work on getting my life together.