My Rockstar's World

Chapter 13

Bawdy: I just landed. Can I pick you up on my way to my place? I wanna see you.

I've ignored his texts since I saw the pictures on Friday. It's not like I wanted to confront him over text, and I was swamped with school work anyways. I don't want to just not care about his actions because he's famous, but I also don't want him to think of me as some annoying girl who keeps tabs on him online.

Even though I still taste the sourness of jealousy, I really want to see him. I'm having conflicting thoughts, but this is Bawdy. My literal celebrity crush texting me. Sure, we've had sex. Some of the best in my entire life. But, we didn't have any talks about exclusivity. I'm not good at bringing these things up, and this would usually be the time when I run to escape.

But, he's really hot. And sweet. And the sex. Ugh.

Gianna: Sure, I'm home.

I quickly brush out my hair and put on some lipgloss. Soon after, he picks me up and we head to his place in his driver's car. We make small talk about his trip during the drive.

When we get to his penthouse, I'm taken aback by how large it is. How expensive all of the furniture looks surrounded by marble flooring and pillars. This penthouse looks bigger than my parent's house.

After staring way too much at how nice everything looks, he grabs my hand and pulls me over to the couch.

"Are you sure everything is alright? You seem a bit off." Bawdy strokes a piece of hair behind my ear.

I love the way he's able to read me so easily. I'm usually good at hiding the emotions on my face, but he seems to be able to see through my facade.

I should just tell him what's wrong. Honestly, I think he's acting a bit off too. Maybe he's feeling guilty, because he must know that I saw the pictures.

"It sounds kind of stupid."

"Nothing you say could be dumb. If it's bothering you, then it's obviously not just something stupid."

I take a deep breath. "There certainly were a lot of pictures of you with girls all over you posted online this weekend."

Straight to the point. Perhaps with a bit too much sass.

His expression immediately changes. Bawdy's eyebrows furrow, and he looks a bit confused. "I should have warned you that looking me up online is never a good idea. I avoid looking at stuff about me as much as I can."

That really didn't give any explanation about the girls. I start to feel a bit irritated that he's trying to dance around the issue.

"There weren't any rumors. But, it was just hard to see you with your arm around girls when we were..." I don't even know how to describe what we did last weekend without telling him that it was like a fairy tale come true. If fairy tales had sexy rockstars instead of princes. I continue. "When we were getting so close over the weekend. At least I thought we were."

He puts his hand on my chin and turns my head to face his. I didn't realize how hard I was avoiding eye contact.

"Baby girl, I had the best time with you." He lets out a big sigh. "It's just part of my work. Going out. Posing for pictures. Vibing with the drunk fans and friends, who, yes, sometimes happen to be girls. But, they're just pictures. I wasn't kissing anyone. I didn't bring anyone back to my place. Honestly, I couldn't get you out of my mind."

I feel a slight sense of relief. At least he is explaining himself, but this is something that is going to take a lot of getting used to.

"What about the girl you went out to dinner with? Was it a business meeting?" Maybe I was reading into it too much, but they looked like more than business acquaintances the way that he was leading her in.

Bawdy rolls his eyes. "The paparazzi really captures everything, doesn't it."

That didn't answer my question at all. Before I can inquire any again, someone walks out of his kitchen with a cheese board and drinks.

"Thanks, Macy." The girl nods and sets down the tray. I knew he was rich, but I never thought about him having an at home maid or chef or whoever she is. Oh, what I would give to live this lifestyle.

Bawdy takes a long drink, gulping down almost half of his drink at once. I decide to take a sip. The fruity flavors spread across my taste buds. Whoever this Macy is, she's great at mixing drinks.

"But it wasn't some sort of date?"

He looks confused as if he forgot what we were even talking about. "No, no, absolutely not a dinner date." He downs the rest of his drink, setting it down with a loud clink. Macy must have heard the sound, and, as if triggered by a bell, she swiftly comes in and switches out his glass for a new one. "Maybe I should be the one asking who that guy was you were sitting on half naked."

Fuck, I guess I didn't even consider that he might see those. On the way back from Vegas, he had followed me on his secret under the radar account that wasn't his public account with millions of followers. I'm surprised with how busy that he was over the weekend that he still saw that.

I take a few seconds to respond, because here I was thinking that I was the one coming to confront him.

A bit flustered, I break eye contact and respond while reaching for my drink. "He's just a friend from one of my classes. We were just swimming with some others at his roommate's birthday party. Literally nothing happened." My response has a tone of defensiveness, but I think it was fitting.

"So how is this different from the pictures you saw of me at parties? Fully clothed might I add."

He kind of got me there. Especially since I decided to do all of that after seeing pictures of him with girls.

"I guess you're right." Wow, I don't think I've ever had a conversation like this with a man without him screaming at me. He didn't try to rub it in my face that his point held merit, and I appreciate that.

"See, Gianna, you need to trust me. I want you to trust me. But I also need to trust you. Promise me you're not going to believe something on the internet without talking to me first?"

It seems like a fair ask. I don't want to assume the worst in anyone, especially him. It's just difficult when media outlets love to skew everyone's perceptions just to draw in viewers. I don't understand how people who spread lies like that are able to sleep at night and then get up the next day to spread fake news again.

"I promise," I say, although I know it's going to be hard to break my habits of looking him up online. It'd be so embarrassing if he knew how much I've looked him up in the past.

"Good," he says while grabbing onto my face with his hand. It's cooled from holding onto his drink, and the feeling sends goosebumps down my body. "And don't ignore me. I can't stand when people do that."

"I wasn't ignoring you," I start to say.

"You went from responding to me within a couple minutes to ignoring me until I got back."

For some reason, my natural instinct is to say that I didn't do that. It would be a lie, and I wish it wasn't my natural defense mechanism.

"I'm sorry," I say, adverting my eyes from him. I really thought this conversation would have ended with him begging for my forgiveness. He certainly doesn't look like someone who begs, but I didn't think he would turn this completely around on me. This is why I haven't been in a real relationship in a while. Besides the lack of guys who interest me, I'm not always the best at responding to my own emotions.

"And I forgive you," he says while turning my head towards his. "And I missed you." He pulls me into a deep kiss, not bothering to ease into it.