My Rockstar's World

Chapter 66

*Bawdy's POV*

"What do you mean I can't see her?" I say a bit too aggressively to the worker at the front desk of the hospital. I don't care if I'm coming off as rude. They're not letting me see her.

The worker looks like she has needed to explain this a million times in her career. She's immune to the emotional aspects of having someone you love in the same building as you but not being able to reach them. "Sir, you aren't family. I'm unable to let you back there or tell you any status."

If there weren't security in this building, I'd run past the workers and find her myself. I have no clue what room she's in, but I don't care. I'd check every single fucking room to find her.

I probably shouldn't just barge my way through a hospital, so I resort to my next tactic. "There has to be something that I can do for you." The worker raises an eyebrow and actually looks up from her computer.

That's right. At least give me the decency of looking at me when I talk to you. I continue, "just name your price."

Her brows furrow. "Sir, you can not bribe yourself into a hospital room. Now, please take a seat. I need to get to the others waiting. I can't help you."

She's lucky that she's a woman, or I would have leaped over and strangled her. There is nothing worse in this world than being kept apart from Gianna. I don't even know if she's all right.

I'm going to be sick.

Maybe if I throw up, they'll admit me too. Unfortunately, they'd probably try to send me to the psych ward for how crazy my behaviors are about to become if I don't start getting answers.

I walk over to a seat in the waiting room and slump down in a chair, feeling defeated. It's not too often that I don't get what I want. I'd give everything away if it could mean that I could see her right now.

Gianna should have stayed backstage for the show. I feel like this is all my fault. I didn't know that she would join in on the crowd surfing. I should have fucking known, because she is always down for a fun time. She is one of the coolest people who I've ever met. Of course she'd want to join in.

I didn't even know that she was up there too. It's a bit difficult to look around at your surroundings while singing as people hold you up. It's a fun little concert addition that I usually add at bigger shows and when I'm having an undeniably good time performing.

Unfortunately, all of the joy that the performance brought me was immediately sucked out of me the second that I heard about Gianna. I should have been alerted immediately.

I was backstage before she fell. Fuck, she fell. I didn't see it, but I can just imagine how fast it must have happened and how scary it must have been for her.

I should have been there to catch her.

Instead, I was told as the crowd was clearing out that someone had been dropped, was unconscious, and an ambulance was on the way. I hate the idea of anyone getting hurt at one of my shows. It's not on the artist, but I still feel bad if it happens.

I just followed the usual protocol and said I'd cover any hospital bills, before I even knew who was hurt. Technically, I'm not liable since ticket sales basically make you sign away your life so the venue or artist can't get sued if you get hurt. But, I really do care about my fans. I might as well help them out after the fact and pay for everything.

Since it was a bigger venue, most of the security working didn't know me, so they handled the situation while the boys and I packed up backstage. I got pulled into a conversation with a producer friend, and I didn't realize how much time was going by. I don't always have the best concept of time, especially when I'm running on a high from a show.

Once I finished talking with him, I assumed that I'd find Gianna backstage waiting for me to take her back to my place. I had so many plans on what I wanted to do to her. To do with her.

Just by the look on Kennedy and Iris's faces told me that something was wrong. They had found her in the crowd already being attended to as everyone was trying to leave. The ambulance was already on the way at that point, so they waited around her until she was taken away.

While I wish that they would have immediately gotten me, I get that they were probably freaking out and not even thinking. I don't even know what I would have done if I found her passed out on the ground.

They insisted on coming with to the hospital, but I could tell that they were both way too drunk and needed to go to bed. I had a driver of mine bring them home, while another drove me to the hospital, breaking the speed limit the entire time. But it still wasn't fast enough.

Nothing would be fast enough. Would I have been fast enough to catch her if I was in the crowd?

I would have never dropped her. Who the fuck dropped her?

I loosen my grip on the chair. As much as I'd want to beat in the heads of anyone who dropped her, I know that she would say it was an accident and to not blame anyone.

She's really out here making me soft, and I don't even mind.

Now no one wants to answer my questions. I feel helpless, and I hate it. Absolutely despise it. It's not too often that I don't get my way.

The last time I didn't get what I wanted is when Gianna was putting space in between us. It drove me absolutely insane. I can't imagine living my life without her. We moved past it, and I've been doing my best to let her in. I was even going to invite her to Thanksgiving with Mary.

Now I might never get the chance to even ask her.

"We're looking for Gianna Spieler," I hear someone say behind me. Before I can even whip my head around to confirm who is asking, I stand up from my seat.

Her mom is talking to the receptionist, and her dad doesn't look pleased at all to see me. The receptionist confirms that they'll send a nurse to bring them up to Gianna momentarily.

If a facial expression could kill, then I'd be lying dead on the ground after making eye contact with her mom.

Kennedy had called them after the accident, and I knew they'd eventually make it here. I know I'm not their favorite person, but I thought they at least somewhat liked me. Maybe Gianna left out some details about their thoughts of me.

"Is she okay?" I ask, ignoring their looks of disgust.

"She's here because of you," her mom says sharply.

I already feel guilty enough myself. I really didn't need to hear that. They should rip my heart out while they're at it.

Before I can even respond, although I don't even know what to say to a statement like that, a nurse walks out and calls their name. I follow behind them. "Please, I just want to see her."

"You can't. It's family only, and you'll never be family," her mom says, leaving me stunned where I'm standing. Her parents follow the nurse down the hall, leaving me alone to unpack her statement.

I knew that her parents were hard on her before, but this is insane. They shouldn't have a say in her future. It's still pretty new being with her, but maybe in the future... fuck, what if she doesn't even want me? Do they know more than I do?