Linstead - Broken hearts

Chapter 49

Erin couldn't sleep. She went to Jay's bed and the kids woke up and snuggled up to her as soon as they saw her. She let them get closer, Jay was right, she would never be able to move on if she ran away every time. The love for the two of them was real, she felt guilty for always rejecting Jesse, she knew he felt her love for him and she still didn't understand every time she rejected him, but if she continued like this, he would literally notice. She never had any problems with Maya and Erin knew that if Jesse started to notice he would feel like Erin preferred Maya over him and that wasn't true. She loved them both.

She watched them sleeping, watched the affection and love they had for her just by hugging her in bed. She had thought days before about talking to Jay about what being a mother to his children meant, she was going to tell him that she didn't just want to be called a mother, she wanted to play this full role. She wanted the complete package with them, but she had to start with herself, pushing the two of them away and rejecting them whenever Andrew came to her mind was the first mistake and she could never play the complete role if it continued like this.

Caressing them both, she knows that she needs to treat them as Andrew's brothers, as her real children and not as substitutes. They were not to blame for what had happened to her son and she loved them too much to see them suffer, even worse to be the reason for making them suffer. She knew this was a construction, everything was very new to her and the first step was to never let them feel rejected in their lives.

- I promise to be a better mother for you. - she whispers to them. Jay was also already asleep and didn't notice that she was there struggling internally. - I love you and I promise I won't go anywhere. - she says, knowing that they aren't listening, but it wasn't necessary, she would prove it and with that thought she also falls asleep.

🖤☠️🖤

Logan's family and Scarlett's family found out what happened to the Halstead's and invited them to eat at their house, since the day before after the hospital no one was in the mood to cook or do anything.

The couple refused, they wanted to take advantage of Jesse and Maya who were a little scared with everything that had happened and they understood, but still, they sent food to them so they didn't have to cook. They were very happy to know that they had very good friends helping them.

Jesse was playing on the floor when he got up and walked over to Erin. Jay watched to see how she would treat his son. Erin pulled him onto her lap.

- Are you sleepy? I think you've already slept too much today, don't you think? - she teases.

- No.

- No? So do you want to take a nap with me? I think I can take one too. - She caresses him and runs her hand through his hair.

- I want.

- Excellent. - she says and kisses his forehead, but before they go upstairs she continues. - I love you, you know that right?

- Yes.

- Yesterday, everything that happened was very bad, your father and I worry a lot about you, your sister and Sam. - she says. - And you are my children too. I will always love, care and protect, whenever I can and there is nothing that can change that. All good? - She looks at him. - I'm sorry if yesterday was a bad day, I love you and Maya so much. I am so grateful to have you both in my life. - She pulls him to hug him. - You are a very brave boy. - she says and fills him with kisses. Making him smile with every kiss.

She would redeem herself for this and Jay liked to see that she was really fighting for this, for them and it was what took away her insecurity, the confidence he had in her and in her love for her children. So after all the kissing, all four of them go upstairs so they can sleep some more. Sam was at Logan's house.