BAPA One-Shots

Mini One-Shots (References)

(Warning: sexual, swearing)

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Chapa: "Do you like cake?"

Bose: "Yes..."

Chapa: "Do you like my ass?"

Bose: "Yes..."

Chapa: "Do you wanna eat cake off my ass?"

Bose: "What kind of cake?"

Chapa: "Angel food cake."

Bose pulls a fork out of his pocket.

Bose: "Well, Rusty, looks like we're gonna have to eat our way out of another jam."
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(Context: Chapa and Bose believe that they are being approached by a monster, they hug each other in fear)

Chapa: "Bose... no matter what I've said, I've always sort of liked you."

Bose: "Chapa, I used your guitar to unclog my toilet."

Chapa: "Huh?"
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(At Nacho Ball)

Bose: "May I help you, sir?"

Customer: "I'd like that table by the window."

Bose: "As soon as the present customers are done with it. They like to chew their food thoroughly."

Scene cuts to an old couple, with the lady counting the amount of times the old man chews his nacho ball.

Old Lady: "97, 98, 99..."

Old Man: "Don't rush me, woman!"

Scene cuts back to Bose and the customer.

Customer: "Perhaps this will speed up the process."

The customer pulls out a five-dollar bill.

Bose: "How will that help them chew faster?"

Chapa approaches them.

Chapa: "Bosey, what's the problem?"

Bose: "Oh, no problem. I was just telling this customer he has to wait for his favorite table."

Customer: "Five bucks if I get the table now."

Chapa kicks the old couple out.

Old Lady: "Oh, my hip."

Chapa lets the customer settle in his favorite table.

Chapa: "Enjoy your meal. Let me know if you eat anything else."

Chapa walks over to Bose.

Bose: "Why did you give him the table?"

Chapa: "You know what they say..."

Chapa pulls out the money she was given earlier.

Chapa: "Money talks."

Bose: "I didn't know money could talk. Did it tell you to kick those old people out?"

Bose tries talking to the money.

Bose: "What do you have against old people?!"

Chapa: "Don't go goofy on me, baby. Money can't really talk, only humans can talk."
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(Context: Ray has an accident, and despite being indestructible, he's afraid to leave the Man's Nest)

Bose: "Guess I'll have to find a new boss. Hey, Mika!"

Mika: *off-camera* "No!"

Bose: "Aw."

Chapa: "Don't worry, Bose. We'll get Ray to come outside, and he'll see there's nothing to be afraid of."

Bose: "And that's when I punch him, right?"

Chapa makes an annoyed face, then does something else.

Chapa: "Nope... that's when I do this."

Chapa gives Bose a sweet kiss on the lips. Bose struggles to make out words, and he's blushing.
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(Context: Bose and Mika were fighting over her misuse of Chapa's powers) 

Bose: "I'm just trying to demonstrate how careless Mika is with Chapa's powers. In fact, how careless all of you are! You're treating her like some kind of machine when she's not a machine, and I don't want her to die burning some bad guy to a crisp when they've obviously been defeated already. So can we please just come up with a better plan because I love her and I can't lose her again!"

Mika's eyes widen. Miles looks at him surprised. Bose realizes what he just said. Ray and Schwoz smirk, as they've known for a while. Suddenly, Chapa walks into the room.

Chapa: "What's going on?"

Bose: "Nothing, nothing."

Miles: "Just a... regular ol' discussion."

Chapa: "Oh..."
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(The end, sorry it wasn't much)