Meta Knight Adopts You

Friends My Age

"I have had nothing but nightmares for the past month."

"Same." The other two reply from the other end of the line. I sigh heavily, feeling the blanket of anguish over us, even though it's just a phone call.

"I mean, honestly, I take naps throughout the day that are more refreshing than actually sleeping at night." Sirica laments, the background noise indicating she's either piloting her ship or working on something mechanical, but I don't know enough to be able to tell which.

"Do you think that means something?" Joe posits, an amused lit in his gravelly voice. "Like, we got some adventure the three of us gotta go on? Like our parents?"

"First of all," I say, my voice a bit dragged out, ready to cut off that line of thinking. "You guys would be going with Kirby, not me, he's a better Meta Knight stand in than me. Second of all, no, our nightmares aren't even the same. I mean, they're similar, because they're all trauma, but like, come on. There's no connecting threads."

Joe huffs, but keeps his voice almost conspiratorial. "Nah, think about it, we're all around the same age, our parents all knew each other, and they were a group together, and uh... all of our favorite colors are yellow."

"My favorite color is green." Sirica says disinterestedly, the background noise continuing to seep into the call. Joe lets out a sharp puff, similar to a detaching air hose, either a small laugh or a dismissive noise.

"Well, green is pretty close to yellow, and if you're colorblind, it's the same color."

"Are you colorblind?" I question, my voice a bit more interested at the prospect of getting to learn something 'personal' about one of them.

"Well... No, but if I was, we'd all have the same favorite color." I let out a small chuckle, but the energy quickly leaves me.

"... I had, like, the worst time a week ago." Sirica begins, seemingly disliking the silence as much as the rest of us. "I stop on some planet to get some parts I need, because, well, this ship is old as Hell and I gotta be ready for it to break down, right?" Joe and I make sounds of agreement and acknowledgement before she continues. "But I land, and step out, and the entire planet is mud! It was one, great big swamp! My landing gear was all guncked up, I smelled like swamp gasses for like three days, I thought I lost my headband until I realized it got caught on a branch somehow."

"Damn, that sucks, man." I reply, unsure what else to say. I don't really have similar issues that I need to deal with. I'm not living on my own, nor would I know how to fix up a spaceship, Joe has a lot more to say, though.

"I get that-" He says, before groaning as he rembers something. "Siri, you remember that one asteroid stop? The one with the great mechanic and the star jumpers?"

"The one near that salamander looking asteroid?"

"Yeah, that one! I went there a few months ago, and guess what? Apparently, the guy retired, sold the place off to someone else! And the new guy doesn't even know what Star Warrior stuff looks like! I asked him for some lithium and he says he doesn't carry it! I say, 'well, do you at least have magnesium?' And he goes, 'no, why would I have raw magnesium'?" Both Sirica and Joe groan. "No, dumbass!" Joe says with real venom in his voice, "Batteries! Lithium or magnesium batteries!"

"And that place used to be so good too..." Sirica sadly sighs, though, it could be an anguished frustration.

"Damn," I say, unsure how to really reply. "I really understood all those words you just said." The pair chuckle a bit at my words, though, Sirica's is a bit more bitter than Joe's.

"Yeah, I guess you came from like... a less developed planet, huh?" Sirica is caught somewhere between making a statement and questioning if that's actually correct.

"I guess." I reply, shrugging despite the fact they can't see it. "I don't really know much about your technology, but star ships and teleportation are definitely things we didn't have."

"I get teleportation, that's kinda N.M.E. Exclusive technology for the most part, but starships? You guys didn't have starships?" Joe questions, the shock clear in his voice.

"Well, we had spaceships, but the ones with humans only make it to our moon or out to orbit our planet. We had some unmanned ones that drop of rovers, but those mostly made it to nearby planets. We did have some stuff that was almost entirely disconnected from us, that's um... the one with the golden vinyl."

"Dang... Why?" Joe asks, and based on Sirica's silence, I assume she's using us as background noise now, which is fine.

"Meta Knight told me that Earth used to have a stronger gravitational pull than it does now... or something about 'strong atmospheric pressure'? I don't know, I'm not... I was in high school before this, and that didn't really go into... rocket science, so..." there's a small stretch of silence, presumably Joe thinking, the only noise being something on Sirica's end, (kinda like an Alan wrench maybe?) I chose to speak again, this time, on a topic I can actually speak on.

"Do you guys feel weird? Like, you guys are both, to my knowledge, extremely unique to the universe? Like, Meta Knight and Kirby are the only 'puff balls' I know of, even though the other Star Warriors look similar, they're apparently different species. But you guys look different from them as well, like, here in Cappy Town, I'm the only person with legs, do you guys find a lot of other beings like you?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess you wouldn't know, would you?" Sirica replies a bit off handedly, which, fair. She is doing important stuff right now. Joe thankfully jumps in to inform me.

"We're not... Well, it sounds mean, but we're not 'like you'. There are plenty of our respective species, most of 'em just fled to territories outside of N.M.E.'s reach." I hear a bit of rustling. "I mean, I guess Kirby and Meta Knight would understand the best? Puffballs were always pretty rare and stuff. But it kinda doesn't matter. Once you're a Star Warrior, it's like that's the only part of your identity that really counts."

"Is that, like, stressful? I feel like I would flip out if I was reduced to one thing."

"Star warriors aren't just 'one thing'." Sirica cuts in, seemingly setting aside whatever she was working on. "'Star Warrior' is an earned title. It's not just a job or occupation or whatever, it's like a cosmic force. Not everyone can be a Star Warrior, not everyone is cut out for it, and that's fine. But it's like a spiritual connection."

"Sorta like a religion?"

"... In a way, I suppose." Sirica goes back to whatever she was working on, as another silence stretches between us.

"... Do you guys know when life on Earth like... fully died out?"

"Yikes!" Sirica and I both start laughing.

"What was that cartoon ass sound effect you just did?" Sirica asks while laughing. "I have never heard you do that voice before!"

"Damn, who'd you put on the phone, bro?" I chuckle a little, hearing Joe laughing on his end too.

"I don't know where that came from!" His voice is a bit shaky as he speaks, pushing through his laughter. We all take a few minutes to calm down, before I choose to speak again.

"So... Talking about Earth's death date is a not allowed then?"

"No one really knows." Joe replies, as Sirica quietly listens in. "I mean, we knew about Shiverstar for a while, but the ice was like, impossible to get through, and only recently we've started getting like, actual artifacts. It seems like things were coming out of an ice-age, then suddenly froze over out of nowhere." It sounds a bit like a ghost story as he speaks, but it's as informative as he can be, I guess.

"Maybe you should get in touch with a galactic historian." Sirica postulates. "You're like, a primary source, there's a ton of historians who would kill for that." I chuckle a bit.

"Yeah, maybe... I'll consider it."