Wow, time really flies when your life is falling apart. I thought becoming a single parent would take some getting used to, but the hardest part is when the kids are gone and I'm in this big house alone.
We swap the kids every week, and both fully participate in anything they have going on. We do our best to stay in agreement and not allow the kids to manipulate our current situation, although sometimes he just takes me there.
I wish I could say the kids are adjusting well, but the truth is Aden isn't at all. He is almost 13 and very smart for his age. He knows every detail of why we are separated and has chosen sides. Both of us told the kids they didn't need to pick sides. We don't hate each other. We are both clear.
This separation isn't about moving but figuring out how to rebuild our bond. Be clear, I love my husband and want to stay married, but he betrayed my trust, and we will stay separated until I work that out with him and in therapy.
Anyway, Aden still decided he was team mom and despised his father for causing all this chaos in our lives. It was a struggle to get Aden to go with Devale on his weeks. He would sometimes turn Ace against his dad being Ace is Adens shadow and does everything his big brother does.
Aniyah was fine. She saw the benefit of having two households as long as she was the princess wherever she landed. She was also in her preteen phase, but in her gut, she knew her parents would get back together. She wasn't worried at all.
I was getting Ace's bag together for tomorrows pick up when Aden came in with his biweekly sad face.
Crystal: Come on, SonSon, don't start that today.
Aden: I just don't understand why I can't stay her, I won't be in your way.
Crystal: It's not about being in my way fats. It's important for you to have a relationship with your dad. I know he disappointed you outside of what he and I have going on, but I'm working on forgiving him, and I think you should too.
Aden: He doesn't deserve forgiveness, and besides, I don't want to talk about him. I don't care about him, I hate it there, mom.
Crystal: Aden, don't say that.
Aden:Why not, I mean it. He is a liar, and you gone turn me into a liar, forcing me to act like I care about him when I don't. I want to stay here, you always say no. Please say yes, just one time.
Crystal: (Sigh) Fine, if your dad says it's ok
Aden: Thanks, mom.
Crystal: Peanut, are you packed for your week with your dad?
Peanut: I don't need to, I got plenty of things there. Can you give me some straight back braids later today? Oh, and can you take me to the beauty supply store for hair?
Crystal: Girl, why didn't you ask me before today. You had all week.
Peanut: I just thought about it today.
Crystal: The next time you wait until the same day, I'm going to say no.
Peanut: Thank you, Mommy.
Crystal: Yeah, yeah.
I finish my afternoon tasks before taking doing Niyahs hair and settling in. The kids knew to leave me alone after 9 pm. The end of the day is the hardest for me. That's when I miss him, miss us, miss family chatter over dinner. Now, everything is on a routine or schedule. Everything is a task, and I just want some sense of normalcy to return. Fuck I just want my husband back, I want my life back. I hate him so much but I can't help but damn I love his bitch ass.
The older kids will leave me be, but this barely 3yr old demon child gives no shits about personal space, depression, or sides. He is for self, and right now he wants to a super menace right outside my door. Fuck it, bath over.
