On My Own 》R5 Fanfic♡

f i f t y - s i x // Flashback time

A lot of flashbacks and stuff ;) sorry

Zara's POV.

I finally got home but I was alone. I didn't cared where everyone else was, why should I?

I made myself something to eat and walked to my room to grab my pyjama so I could take a nice, warm shower before I go to sleep.

The moment where the hot water collided with my body...I wanted to scream. Not because it was to hot but because everything is just messed up and it's freaking me out. What can I do to stop it? I'm not a psychopath and want to end my own life because life is still...life you know what I mean?

It's not worth to die because soon the fog will clear up and everything would be okay. It may take longer then you think it would but it won't be that bad all the time. I mean I don't remember my life what could be worse then that? What could be worse then not remembering who your are?

<><><>

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Love is a big word. I'm not a person who throws around with those words because I'm to scared to get hurt. It may be crazy of me to think like that but I'm honest. I'm some kind of freak maybe.

I love him. I could say some cheesy things now but I'm not like that. I keep it simple and short. I love him.

He treats me right. He wouldn't hurt me. He respects me and my decisions. He makes me feel good. He teaches me how to feel confident. He takes my fears and replaces them with something I love. He is more then just a boyfriend...friend...best friend...he's my other half and I love him.

<><><>

My eyes shot open and I gasped for some air. Nightmare. I hate nightmares. Love is something which isn't in my vocabulary and which makes me uncomfortable not only with the situation but also with the other person and myself.

I slowly got out of bed and left my room. Suddenly I bumped into someone and hit my head whilst I fell onto the floor. Everything went black.

<><><>
He leaned down until his soft lips with paint on, where on mine. It was just a soft short kiss which gave me butterflies.
-
"Uhm, well, I really like you," he confessed which made me look at him.
-
I felt a hand on my cheek and I looked at Ross to see him smiling. "So do you want to be my precious girlfriend?" He asked me with a grin.
-
He intertwined our fingers and rubbed his thumb over my hand in circles.
I blushed and smiled widely.
-
He just shut me off by kissing me hard on the lips.
-
"Roara Road Trip," Ross said into the go pro.
-
"I love you and only you," Ross assured me which made my heart melt. "And I love you," I replied with a grin.
He leaned down and kissed me gently. What would I do without him?
<><><>

My eyes fluttered open and I was so confused and scared that I got angry. I want those nightmares to stop! I want all of this to stop! I took in my surroundings and saw that I was in my room, alone.

Suddenly the door opened and Ross came into the room. "Everyone else is on their way now," he snapped at me. "Go away," I hissed and rolled over so I didn't had to face him.

"I don't want to be here anyway's," he snapped again and slammed the door behind him. I have to admit that I do have feelings for him...but they're no good ones though.

I don't have long it took for everyone to come back but soon they were all in my room, excluding Ross. "You made us so worried," Jay said and pulled me into his arms. "By the way it took us longer because of someone who we needed to pick up from the airport."

I looked up and raised my eyebrow at them. They all took a step aside and Bryan came into view. "Bryan!" I exclaimed happily and jumped into his arms. I know that we met in youth prison even though I can't remember it.

"I couldn't live without my best friend, could I?" He said following by a chuckle. "What about your family?" I asked curious. "Let's not talk about that now okay?" I said and I just nodded, slightly confused. I shrugged it off and some of them left except for Rocky, Jay, Bryan & I of course.

"Let's play a game!" Rocky exclaimed happily. "And what?" I asked as I jumped on my bed whilst the boys sat on the floor. "Uhm, F*ck, Marry & Kill?"

"Oh my god! Bryan remember when we played that at work?" I shrieked whilst I tried to hold back my laughter. "Stop talking about that. It was so embarrassing." I laughed at his facial expression and almost died from my laughter.

It took my awhile to stop laughing but when I did we started the game.

"Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Hailee Steinfeld," I said and looked at Rocky. "Marry - Selena. Definitely! F*ck - Taylor because she's badass and kill precious Hailee," he answered as he put his hand on his heart with a sigh. I giggled and we continued the game.

"Camila Cabello, Adele, Miley Cyrus."

"Marry - Camilla because she's my bae. Bang Miley because why not and kill Adele. Stop the shit with 'HELLO! IT'S ME!" Jay said as he rolled his eyes. I always annoy him. I would turn the volume up when that song comes up and then I would scream the lyrics in his face. I love that song, it's so catchy.

I pouted as he smirked at me.

___________

HELLO
ITS ME
again ;)
Love that song since a few weeks now omg I can't stop hearing it. I prefer the cover from Leroy Sanchez though because he's bae 🦄❤️😍🎉

Sorry for not updating that much but school is really tough rn. Tomorrow is my last exam for this year so wish me luck ;)
Also I have a cold and I feel like shit so yay me :(