MISS NOT PERFECT

CHAPTER 53

I went straight to my room and ignored all the people inside the house who greeted me. My eyes immediately went blurry when I closed the door. I leaned my back against the door and closed my eyes. I let the tears fell on my cheeks as my heart feel like breaking into pieces.

I bit my lip to prevent my sobs. This is new. So strange I didn't imagine I would ever felt.

I sat on the corner of my bed, propped my elbows on my knees and covered both of my palms on my face. My heartbeat didn't help either. It keeps on thumping wildly that it hurts.

I let the tears fall. I used to cry before, back when I was 5. When my parents started to focus on their business because they've thought im at the right age to live without their guidance. I cried whenever they told me they're leaving for a business trip. I cried whenever they didn't come back on the day they've promised. But then, as time goes by, I got used to it. To the point that I even asked myself as to why they have to come back at all.

I lyed down on my bed and rested my arm over my eyes. 'I love you' are the scariest words. It makes you feel special yet has a capability to break your heart into tiny pieces.

Nine years ago, all I ever wanted was to be her friend. But what happened now? I stepped forward to where I was standing; on the edge of the cliff. Then I let myself fall, knowing whether someone will be there to catch me or no one will  notice me as I fall, and let myself embrace the pain alone.

**

I was fully awakened with my head's throbbing. I drunk the liquor I saw at the bar counter laat night. Now, I regretted doing it because it totally didn't help. It just added the pain im feeling right now.

I slowly walk in my bathroom and do my things before walking into the kitchen to eat my breakfast. I didn't talk to them katulad ng ginagawa ko kapag umaga. I received confused stares from them pero wala ni isang nagtanong, kahit si Nanay Lotty. Maybe they could feel my pain too? If it was even possible.

I parked my car and I saw Kerr's car two cars away from where I parked. I heaved a sigh. I prepared myself for what fate has to offer me now before climbing off the driver's seat.

I entered the empty classroom, surprised that there's no trace of Mikki inside. I sat on my usual seat and jammed my earphones in my ears. I closed my eyes as the music starts to play.

Hindi ko na namalayan ang pagdating ng prof hanggang sa may magtanggal ng earphone sa tenga ko.

"Akala ko tulog ka na" sabi ni Camille.

Umayos ako ng upo at bumungad sakin ang likod ni Mikki. I don't know what to feel to be honest.

I just stared at her back and didn't mind if i'll be caught by our professor for not listening. I followed her when she stood up and walk out of the room. I even ignored Camille. I just followed her wherever she goes until all our classes had finished.

"Hi Ivan" bati ni Lea pagkalabas ko ng classroom.

Hinintay niya si Mikki sa tapat ng classroom namin kasama si Hans. Sabay sabay kaming naglakad papuntang parking lot. Nakita ko agad si Kerr habang nakasandal sa kotse niya ng nakayuko.

"Bye guys!" sigaw ni Lea habang kumakaway palayo samin at hilahila si Mikki papalapit kay Kerr. I watched them. I watched how Kerr stared at Mikki as he opened the passenger's to her. He never even blinked as Mikki slipped inside. Then he immediately went on the driver's and started the engine.

**

Same thing happened the next day. I just followed her wherever she goes. I just changed my path whenever Kerr was around. And it became a habit since then.

**

"Meeting later!" sigaw ni Sofia sa labas ng classroom namin. Sumilip lang siya saglit sa pinto at umalis din agad.

"What are you going to discuss? May program ba?" tanong ni Camille na nasa tabi ko.

"Hindi ko alam" I shrugged.

I leaned my back against the backrest of my seat and crossed my arms over my chest and stared at Mikki's back.

"Is she the paradise?" biglang tanong ni Camille.

I looked at her frowning.

"She is. Bakit ko pa nga ba tinatanong" she grinned whilst shaking her head.

I stared at her with an obvious confusion registered on my face but she just raised her brows at me until Mr. Sy came in.

"Mikki.." I called and followed her leaving the classroom.

She stopped and turned to look at me while frowning.

"May meeting" sabi ko.

Without a word, she turned her back and started walking again. I followed suit. Wala pang tao sa SCC Office dahil maaga pa. Mikki entered the room and I again, followed suit. Naupo siya sa pinakadulo ng mahabang sofa. I watched her every actions, the way she jammed her headset in her ears, the way she leaned her back on the sofa, the way she closed her eyes, the way she crossed her arms over her chest and the way her forehead creased.

I may looked creepy but I love watching her. I felt like im the happiest guy in the world just by watching her from a distance.

"Stop it" bigla siyang nagsalita.

I was shocked and looked away immediately. I scrubbed the back of my head as I cleared my throat. She didn't moved when I dared to glance back at her.

"Sorry" I said almost a whisper.

Naupo ako sa kabilang dulo ng sofa. I bit my lip and tried hard not to look at her but I failed. Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa backrest ng sofa ng patagilid at tinitigan ang nakapikit na si Mikki.

I can't let this feeling go. Even if it hurts.

I sighed.

My heart was too stubborn to stop pounding wild. I gasped as my breath notches when suddenly, Mikki's eyes opened and tilted her head sideward. She caught my eyes and stared at me with the creased on her forehead.

"Stop it" she said again while frowning.

"I can't" I replied unconsciously.