Thaw

Thaw- I

I'll be loving you forever
Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never
Even if you took my heart and tore it apart
I will love you still forever..

   Her phone keeps on ringing but she's just ignoring it. Nakaupo siya sa isang bench sa park just around their village. Tears keep on running down her face but she doesn't care at all.

   Tumigil na ang aparato sa pag-iingay. Hindi na ito muling tumunog na siyang ipinagmasalamat niya. She looked up the sky. Sinalubong siya ng mga ulap na nagbabadya ng ulan. She stared at those clouds for a few minutes.

   And before she knew it, the rain started to pour down on her. Hinayaan niyang basain ng tubig ulan ang kaniyang katawan. Wishing that the rain will wash her pain away. But it didn't.

   Hindi na niya rin namalayaan ang pagtahak niya ng daan patungo sa kaniyang unit. Kahit alam niyang pinagtitinginan siya ng mga tao pagpasok niya ng building at wala na siyang pakialam.

   Pumasok siya sa elevator nang nakayuko. She is oblivious to her surrounding. Namalayan na lang niyang may kasama siya sa loob ng elevator nang bigla itong bumukas. She can feel that pair of eyes boring a hole into her. She didn't dare to meet those orbs. Pinindot lang niya ang palapag na kinalalagyan ng unit niya at hinintay na lang niyang marating niya ito.

   Hindi pa rin humihiwalay ng tingin ang kaniyang kasama mula sa kaniya. Nanatili pa rin siyang nakayuko nang tumunog ang elevator hudyat na narating na niya ang palapag na nais niya.

   She got out of the lift and lifelessly walk towards her unit's door. She typed her password and entered. Ibinagsak niya ang katawan sa sofa, uncaring that she's still wet. Dripping wet.

   Patuloy pa rin ang pagpatak ng luha sa kaniyang mga mata ngunit walang kumakawalang hikbi sa mga labi niya. Tanging buntong hininga lang ang naririnig mula sa kaniya.

   She closed her eyes and the words and scene kept ringing in her head. Her tears started to flood her cheeks once again. And the scenes started flashing in her mind...

***

   "BAKIT ba kasi kinupkop mo pa ang batang 'yan!" Dinig niyang sigaw ng kaniyang abuela.

   "Mama, please. This issue is long over!" Tinig ng kaniyang ama. Ngunit ang tinig ng kaniyang abuela ang lubos na umagaw ng atensiyon niya.

   "It was never over, Rico! Hanggang nandito ang batang 'yan ay hindi tayo matatapos sa usaping ito! Kung saan niyo lang napulot ang batang iyan! You gave our name to her, that makes her your child. But it doesn't change the fact that she don't have even a single drop of our blood in her vein!" She can feel the hatred on her Grandma's voice.

   Tears started to stream down her cheeks. Nanginginig pa ang labi niya sa pagpipigil ng kaniyang hikbi.

   The revelations that she heard started to shatter her world. And in just a snap, her world crumbled down in front of her.

   "Ma, please. Tama na po. Anak ko siya. We don't share the same blood, yes. But it doesn't change anything. She's still my daughter." Malumanay na ang tinig ng kaniyang ama. Ngunit lalo lang syang nagpaiyak sa sinabi nito. 

   "Hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko sa'yo, Rico. I want her out of my house, if not, ako ang aalis sa bahay na ito." Madiin nitong sabi at natahimik na ang mga ito.

   She ran to her room and get her phone and car keys. Pumanaog siya at nakasalubong niya ang ama sa kalagitnaan ng hagdan. Worry cross her father's face when he saw her tear-streamed face. Iniwasan niya ito at nagpatuloy sa pagpanaog.

   "Ysabelle, anak what happened? Where are you going?" Nag-aalalang saad ng ama. Ngunit alam niya sa sarili niya na may ideya na ito kung bakit siya nagkakaganoon.

   "I heard everything, Dad. And I can't take that Grandma's the one to leave. I'd rather leave," garalgal niyang sagot habang palabas ng bahay.

   "Manong, open the gate!" Sigaw niya sa guwardiya ngunit pinigilan ito ng kaniyang ama.

   "Manong, no! Ysabelle, anak. I can explain. Please, huwag kang umali-"

   "And let Grandma leave instead? No." May diin niyang saad at pinunasan ang kaniyang basang pisngi.

   "Look, Dad. Let me leave. I heard everything. Everything. And you have nothing to explain. I clearly and fully understand." Muling nag-unahan sa pagtulo ang mga luha niya. "Let me leave. I want to find myself."

   Tumulo na rin ang luha sa mga mata ng kaniyang ama. She hurt the man who have love her for the last twenty-seven years of her life. But she couldn't afford her Grandma will be the one to leave.

   She hugged her father with all the love she have dor him. Fumanti naman ng yakap ang ama niya.

   "Always remember, I love you Dad. Always. At kahit na anong mangyari, ikaw pa rin ang ama ko. But please," bumitaw siya at himarap sa ama na hilam na sa luha ang mukha. "Let me leave and find myself. Babalik po ako." She smiled at him.

   "Promise me that you'll take care of yourself. And please, come back to Daddy. Alam kong malaki ka na, pero mag-iingat ka pa rin. Don't forget, mahal na mahal ka ng Daddy." Her Dad let out a sad smile. Lumulan na ito sa sasakyan niya at pinasibad na ito paalis ng kanilang bahay.

   She never thought that leaving could be this painful. Ngunit kailangan niyang umalis.

   She called her fiance but the latter wasn't answering her  call. Nagdesisyon siyang puntahan ito.

   "I'm sorry, hija. He left after he heard about it. Ni hindi ko alam kung saan siya nagpunta." Anang ina ng fiance. It didn't cross her mind that her Grandma will tell it to her fiance's family. Lalo siyang nanghina sa narinig.

   "Sige po, tatawagan ko na lang siya. Pasensiya na po sa abala." Nagmadali siyang lumabas sa kabahayan at nagtungo sa kaniyang sasakyan.

   She maneuvered the car as soon as she got in. She don't know where to go. She just found herself sitting in a bench.

   Madilim ang kalangitan at nagbabadya ang ulan. Same goes with her emotions. She felt heavy inside her chest. And she wanted to pour it all out.

   The worst is, the person she expects that will comfort and shelter her, was nowhere to be found. She felt deserted. Unwanted and betrayed.

   Her phone keeps on ringing but she couldn't care less.

   It hurts. It's as if tearing her heart into pieces. And it's bleeding. Her heart is bleeding.

***

   "Yes, yes. I'll be staying here for the night. Yes, yes. Thank you, babe," dinig niyang tinig ng isang babae. Sinubukan niyang imulat ang mga mata niya ngunit tila siya ay nakapiring.
  
   "Glenn, Glenn wake up. Time to drink med." Naramdaman niya ang mahinang tapik sa kaniyang pisngi. Pinilit niyang imulat ang kaniyang mga mata. Bumungad sa kaniyang paningin ang nakangiting si LJ. Ang kaibigan niya ang hula niya'y siyang umasikaso sa kaniya sa loob ng tatlong araw na nilalagnat siya. Kung hindi pa ito tumawag ay walang makakaalam na may sakit na siya.This is her fourth day, and unfortunately, she's still burning.

   Bumangon siya at sumandal sa headboard ng kama. Umiikot ang kaniyang paningin at nilalamig ang kaniyang pakiramdam.

   "That's JC. She's asking if we need her here and I said, I think she can come over. Here," LJ hand her a glass of water and a tablet. She drink it immediately and laid back again.

   "I'll be staying here tonight so I can watch over you and," inayos nito ang kumot niya at muling nagsalita. "That's final so don't argue with me."
  
   "Thank you," she let out a weak smile before she drifted to sleep.