Have Been In Love With The Superstar (COMPLETED)

40: Have Me

40: Have Me

Love. What is love? Why people always getting it wrong? Love? Love is pain. Love is sacrifice. Love is a gamble. Love is powerful. Love is everything. It will strengthen you yet it will also destroy you.

I'm sitting alone between this tall book shelves in the library. Headphones on and it's Summer Wind's songs playing on my phone. Never get tired of hearing their music. Everyday, day and night, I'm always playing this.

I left Alana with our classmates in our  table. I only want to be alone and I can only find it here. A novel on a hand while listening to music.

I'm already staying here in California for one year already. We did not went back to Philippines for the Christmas vacation. They didn't granted my wish.

Matatapos na ang March pero ni isang hakbang ay wala pa akong nagagawa.

I lift my head when I saw a pair of shoes standing in my side and I saw Alana. Tinaggal ko kaagad ang aking headphone para marinig siya.

"I've been looking for you. Come on, it's our next class." Aniya.

"Oh, sorry."

Pinakitaan nalang niya ako ng tipid na ngiti ngunit nakikita ko sa kanyang mga mata ang pagiging concern. I don't know why it's in her eyes.

Pinakilala ko na sa kanya ang Summer Wind at pinarinig na din ang kanilang mga kanta tutal english naman ang mga iyon and she love it. She love them. Hindi ko nga lang sinabi sa kanya ang storya ko tungkol sa nararamdaman para sa bokalista nila. She still don't know the story. And siguro ay nakukuryoso na siya. Only one person I've shared about it and it's Brayden.

Talking about him, na-release na ang kanyang bagong album before the year ended at aniya'y inaayos nalang nila ngayon ang mga dates, places, and times about sa kanyang world tour. It's funny that I'm his friend and he's my friend but I'm not a fan of him. Not that I hate his music. Hindi lang talaga nakukuha nito ang aking puso. Oo, nakikinig ako sa mga kanta niya, bumili na ako ng kanyang album, nanunuod sa mga tv shows na guest siya ngunit hanggang don nalang. Suporta lang sa kaibigan. Hindi ko magawang mahalin ang mga kanta niya. Di ko alam kung dahil ba iyon sa may nauna na.

"Honey, what do you want for your birthday? Malapit ng mag-April." Sabi sa akin ni mommy ng maabutan niya ako sa veranda na nagla-laptop.

Nakuha nito ang aking atensyon. Ang gusto ko? Makita si Reniel.

"We don't have to celebrate it, Mom." Sabay baling muli sa aking laptop.

"Oh, dear! It's your 18th birthday!" She said enthusiastically. "So what theme do you want?"

"Mom, I said we don't have to celebrate my birthday. Excuse me." Sabi ko sabay alis doon para maka-punta na ng kwarto.

Walang silbi na rin ang debut ko kung wala akong last dance. Kung wala dito ang mga 18 roses, candles and treasures ko. It's better to lock up in my room, eat pizza and surf in the internet. Makabuluhan pa iyon.

My birthday is fast approaching. Dalawang araw nalang at kaarawan ko na. Another year to be added to my life and so it means another year of suffering the pain.

"What gift do you want?" malambing na tanong ni mommy.

Pareho kaming nasa living room at nanunuod ng tv.

"A ticket to Manila," tinignan ko si mommy. "That's what I want and what I need." I looked at her using those pitiful eyes.

"Honey, you can't."

"What? Why? What do you mean I can't?"

"You have to finish your senior year. Buwan nalang naman ang bibilangin saka..." I waited for her continuation.