Hetalia Oneshots (Requests Open)

Prussia x Reader

Your pov

You really just wanted to sleep a full night. You didn't expect to be getting a call from a certain albino at three in the morning. When your phone rang, you bolted up, screamed, and fell out of bed trying to answer the damn thing. You glared down at the still ringing phone before answering it.

"What could you possibly need at three in the damn morning?" You growled. You were not in the mood for another one of his late night rants that should be happening on Tumblr.

"Help the awesome me, frau! Call her off!" Gilbert yelled. You jerked the phone away from your ear, glaring at it as if you were looking at him.

"Call who off?" You mumbled sleepily.

"Liz! Call her off!" He replied. You could hear heavy breathing and thumping foot steps. You could also faintly make out Elizabeta screaming in the background. You sighed, getting off the floor.

"Where are you?" You asked. You wonder how long he'd been running from her. If he was actually running from her, he really deserved what was coming to him.

"Almost to your house. Open up, frau!" He begged. You trudged out of your bedroom and opened the front door. Sure enough, there was a tall albino running full speed down your street with a pissed off Hungarian of his tail. You could see her frying pan raised above her head, ready to beat the living shit out of him.

"Rest in pieces, you fucking trash can," You sighed, turning to walk back inside.

"Wait! Don't let her kill the awesome me!" He yelled desperately. For whatever reason, you allowed the albino to dive through the doorway and blocked Elizabeta. She looked like a wild animal with Hell fire burning in her eyes. Whatever he'd done to piss her off must have been pretty bad to have her this riled up.

"Liz, hey, Liz, stop. Chill out, would you?" You said, placing your hands on her shoulders and holding her way from you. Slowly, she lowered the pan and took her predatory gaze off of him. You looked into her eyes calmly, slowly letting your hands drift off her shoulders. "You good?"

"I'm fine, (Y/N)," She said. Her voice was still tight and angry, but she wasn't actively trying to destroy Gilbert anymore so you let her in. You followed quietly and took a seat on the couch.

"Thanks, frau," He said from behind a chair. You rubbed a tired (E/C) eye and yawned.

"Will somebody, calmly, explain to me why I am not in bed asleep right now?" You asked coldly. You really hated being woken up and, the longer you were awake, the pissier you were going to get.

"If you're not going to explain yourself, Gilbert, I will," Liz said, pointedly. She stared at him with her lips pursed and her eyebrows raised. Typical bitch face. For once, he remained completely silent, scarily so. You looked between them and Liz looked over at you.

"If someone's going to explain shit, I suggest they do it fast because I'm fucking tired," You grumbled. No one said anything for a long time and you began to doze off on the couch. You were startled back to reality when you heard the clang of a pan against a wall.

"How dare you say that about my best friend!" Liz shrieked. You stood up, grabbing her arms and holding them behind her.

"Relax! Relax! Liz, cut it out before you break something other than his face," You yelled over her cursing at Gilbert. After a few minutes, she finally calmed herself. If looks could kill, Gil would be six feet under seven tons of cement quickly running out of air.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, if you don't start talking, God help me, I will!" Liz barked. Gilbert stood just behind the couch, looking somewhere between horrified and... embarrassed?

"Alright you two, now that you have my full attention and alertness, will you please tell me what's going on?" You asked. You placed yourself between Liz and Gil as a precaution. You'd hate to see your pretty cream colored carpet to get stained by blood.

"Fine, since he's not going to tell you, I guess I'll have to," Liz started. Gilbert shot forward, got around you, and covered her mouth with his hand. He was blushing like crazy.

"Shut up, Elizabeta," He snapped. You pulled them apart before she attempted to murder him again. You ran your fingers through your messy (H/L) hair, sighing. None of this was getting you anywhere. Obviously, Gilbert had something to hide, but maybe if Liz wasn't here he'd fess up. You tuned to your friend and smiled, tiredly.

"Go home, Liz, it's late. I'll deal with him and call you in the morning," You said. She snorted angrily, but you continued to smile at her.

"I will not leave you alone with this..." She started.

"Yes you will. I'll be just fine. If he pulls anything, you'll be the first to know. Now go home to your hubby, I'm sure he's wondering where you went," You said calmly. She stared at you intensely for a second before she grabbed her pan and left.

"Thanks, frau. I was sure I was a goner," Gilbert laughed, throwing an arm around your shoulders. You glanced over at him. "Now that that's over, I'll be on my way." He began to walk towards the door and you grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Oh no, you did not wake me up at three a.m. to just walk out without an explanation, Mr. Beilschmidt," You said, raising an eyebrow at him. His face began to turn red again and he started to trip over his words. Mr. Too Cool was actually getting nervous? That's a first.

"I asked, Liz, for dating advice," He said, rubbing the back of his neck. You nodded, waiting for the rest.

"This started over dating advice," You said skeptically. He nodded, avoiding your eyes.

"Yep," He said.

"Really?"

"Maybe."

"Really, Gil? Are you absolutely sure about that?"

"So I made a comment about your boobs while asking for that advice, what's the big deal?" He laughed obnoxiously. That would do it. Liz hated it when people were vulgar, especially when it had to do with you. You snorted a laugh before your realized that he'd brought you up.

"You were asking for dating advice, for me?" You asked, blinking slowly. He suddenly stopped laughing and stared at you.

"Yeah, frau, I was," He said.

"I thought you were good with women, I mean, you never seemed to have any trouble before," You said.

"I don't know what to do with you. You don't react to normal flirting, (Y/N)," He said. His voice was abnormally quiet, meaning he was talking like a normal human being. You stared at him, not sure what to say. You both just stared at each other for a little while before you started laughing hysterically. Gilbert looked mortified as he stood there and watched you laugh until you cried.

"What's so funny!" He snapped, his face a glowing red.

"Y-you woke me up at ass o'clock in the m-morning, running d-down my street w-with my best friend chasing you with a frying p-pan and the o-only reason is because you think I-I'm cute!" You forced out through awful laughing fits. It took you forever to calm down from them.

"You know, just asking me on a date would have been more efficient, you actual fucking trash can," You said, grinning. His usual cocky grin returned to his face and he got closer to you.

"Would you like to go on a date with, the awesome me?" He asked. You laughed, shaking your head.

"Yeah, sure, pick me up at eight on Friday. I'm going back to bed, seeing as it's four now," You said. He laughed as you pushed him out your door and went back to bed. All of this for one date, you'd be lying if you denied feeling a little special.

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Hey Kit Kats! Look at what I found in an old ass folder from forever ago! Isn't it terrible? It made me chuckle a little so I decided to post it even though it's pretty bad. I'm finally done with exams so I'll be updating more often and I have a Norway x Reader that I've been working on, so that should be up soon. I love you all and wish you the best in life!