Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Sunday, August 14

Dear Diary:

I woke up inside the fridge.  It was the worst experience ever. I'm cold in places that shouldn't be cold.

I walked into the living room.  Hong Kong was completely passed out with half his body on top of the coffee table.  Damn.

I threw a shoe at him.  He woke up and yawned very loudly and then got up.  He honestly looked like a zombie.

Me: ..... sleep well?

HK:  Totally.

He was obviously in pain by the look on his face.

We ate a super healthy breakfast (chocolate and marshmallows)  and we sat down on the couch all morning watching old TV shows.

At 1 pm,  China came to pick up Hong Kong.  I thought he was old enough to go to his own house but eh-
I opened the door and China just zoomed inside and started tugging on his shirt.

HK: Oh,  sup teac-

China: I'M BROTHER.  We're going home now.  The kitchen microwave exploded and panda is trapped under the bed,  aru!

HK: What?!  Omg- 

They both left. Two hours later, I receive a text from him.

HK: He's such a damn liar

Me: oh-

Big brothers are so annoying.
-_-_-_-_-_-_

Today,  we had a Nordic meeting in Sweden.  The country Sweden,  not the person Sweden.  Ew.

Well... to be honest,  our bosses had the meeting.  We just sat outside the office waiting for them to come out.  We all used our phones meanwhile.  Waiting can be very boring sometimes.  Then,  suddenly,  Denmark started crying.

Denmark:  nooooooooo

Finland: What the hell happened??

Denmark: I u-uploaded a selfie on Facebook and it only got 45 likes! 

Us: .....

Norway choked the hell outta him.

A few hours later,  our bosses came out.  Nothing new happened. I'm not surprised.  Nothing gets done now in days,  expect my laundry.

After every Nordic reunion,  we all go to a bar and drink.  Today was no exception.  They all started drinking like if there was no tomorrow,  expect me of course.  I just drank water and ate bread crumbs because I'm a little wimpy baby.

It's really awkward to just sit on a chair and watch your "friends"  do drunk things while you're sober as fuck.  For example,  some random chick's phone rang and they started singing and dancing to it.  Worst part is that her ring tone was "Halloback Girls".  The cringe was real.

Since they were all drunk and I don't know how to drive,  I sorta had to call for a taxi.  Normally,  taxis don't accept more than four people,  but he made an exception... because I gave him a hundred dollars.

By 8 pm,  we were home. I dragged everyone inside and I went to lay down on the floor because why the heck not. I heard something crunchy when I sat down.  I thought it was a potato chip and I was gonna get up and eat it,  until I saw that it was a part of an egg shell.  I had never felt so horrible in my life...

Until I saw a little black thing moving on the floor.  My first reaction was to scope it up.  It looked at me and blinked.  Then it fell asleep.  I don't know what it was until Mr. Puffin flew into the room.

Mr. P: I see you met your nephew.

Me:  ..... we're not brothers but... yeah, I just met my nephew.

Mr. P: Cute lil shit,  ain't it?

Me: That was rude.

Mr. P: I called it P.J.

Me: Why?

Mr. P: Puffin Junior.

Me:  ..... that is so original. Do you even know it's gender?

Mr. P: No clue. 

Me:  oh.....

We spent the rest of the night poking the little puffin until it slapped us with it's wings.

Me: It's definitely your child.

Mr. P:  Tru dat.

What even-

Okay,  I'm super exhausted of not doing anything right now,  so I'm going to sleep. 

Oh,  and just in case you haven't noticed,  this is yesterday's entry because today nothing happened and I forgot to write something yesterday.  Woops I'm such a lazy piece of shit.

-Iceland