Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Tuesday, August 16

Dear Diary:

Good news: It's raining!

Bad news: There's no WiFi... or electricity.

I feel like throwing myself into a puddle of mud.  I was forced (by myself) to sit on my bed and just stare at the roof for a whole minute.  The pain was real.

After three minutes of unbearable boredom,  I grabbed a flashlight and set off to explore the house.  Since it's really old,  probably older than the whole universe,  it should have lots of secret tunnels in libraries or on the walls or something.

I went to our library,  which I didn't know we had,  and started pushing and pulling out books to see if anything happened.  Only two things happened.  I made a mess and Sweden got mad at me.  I never ran so fast in my life.

After the disaster I made in the library,  I climbed the staircase to the third floor,  which I didn't know we had,  either.  There were lots of old paintings and old things that I remember seeing a long time ago. I shined my flashlight towards the roof,  since I saw something dangling.  It was some sort of pully thing.  My vocabulary isn't big enough when I don't have my WiFi,  so get used to my weird words. Anyways,  I couldn't even reach the ropey pully thing,  so I had stand on top of a chair.... that was there for some odd reason... Eh,  nevermind.  So I stood on the chair and pulled it.  I was already expecting a clown doll to fall on my face,  but instead,  I got slammed off the chair by a ladder.

Note to Self:  Ask someone to open dangerous looking doors for me next time.

I stood up,  grabbed my flashlight and examined the ladder.  It was one of those attic ladders.  That meant that there was an attic above me.  (NO SHIT!).  Like I proved before,  I'm a curious motherfucker, so I climbed those damn stairs to see what the hell was up there. What I saw.... was.....

To be continued...

Don't you just hate that?  It's so horrible.  I'm totally gonna sue every Hollywood movie that does that when the power goes back on.

Back to my horrible life, there were only a bunch of old boxes,  a giant treasure chest thingy,  a big mirror and a cornucopia thing.  It looked like an old person's attic.

I shined my flashlight towards the boxes and opened them.  They were so old looking.  I changed my mind,  those boxes are definitely older than the whole house and universe itself. 

The first box I opened had a bunch old toys.  After looking at them for a long time,  I realized that those were mine when I was a kid. Damn,  I was a looser.  I only had an abacus, a bunch of toy soldiers and a stuffed bear...but that wasn't any ordinary stuffed bear.  That was my favorite toy in the whole world.  I don't remember what I named it...I just remember playing with it all day and even sleeping with it.  Ew.  I'm definitely taking the bear back with me.

The second box was just a bunch of old round things.  I think they were giant DVDs (I don't know the difference between a DVD and a CD.  Help).  I grabbed the giant disk thingy and put it in the cornucopia thing instinctively.   I think it was called a gram-... I don't remember. I remember that Norway taught me how to use it (I don't know why)  so I put the needle in the thingy and winded the thing up (I don't have internet so I can't Google things. I'M SORRY FOR MY IGNORANCE!).  I almost died.  First,  because the music was REALLY loud.  Second,  it was so old and so nostalgic that it made me cringe really hard.  So hard,  that I actually started twitching abnormally. I assume that's not normal.

I kicked the gram-whatsoever and it stopped working.  I'm both happy and worried at the time.  I might get my ass kicked in the future,  but I don't care. 

The third box was empty,  and the fourth box had a bunch of old drawings I used to do.  I wonder why nobody took my -whatever I used to draw with before- away,  because my drawings were shit.  No offense,  past me.

After that,  I was going to go explore the other things,  but I heard somebody calling me downstairs,  and assuming that I'm not allowed up in the attic,  I ran down as fast as I could and tried to leave no evidence of being there... almost, because the grama-shadoodle was destroyed.  If someone asks, the attic is haunted.

I sped down to the kitchen,  still holding on to the flashlight and teddy bear,  just to see the guys eating a sandwich. 

Norway: I've been calling you for hours... food's ready,  go wash your hands.

Me: Um,  no,  and I only heard you once.

Norway: Whatever.

Denmark: Hey,  you found Mr. Fuzzy!

Finland: Why were you in the attic?  YOU DIDN'T TOUCH MY GRAMOPHONE,  DID YOU?

Me: First of all,  who the fuck is Mr. Fuzzy? And second,  no I didn't.....Oh, there are ghosts in the attic,  be careful.

Finland:  ........

Me:  ..........

Norway: Mr. Fuzzy was your teddy bear when you were smaller.

Me: ........ why did you let me name it that way?

Sweden: You were very weird as a kid and no one had the
heart to help you be normal.

Finland: THAT'S NOT TRUE,  WHY U ALWAYS LYIN'??

Sweden: I don't lie-

Finland: LALALALA,  PLEASE DON'T LISTEN, ICE!

Sweden:  .......

Me:  ........ okay...

I ran away for the sake of my mental health.

So now,  I'm lying in my bed,  next to Mr. Puffin,  the little puffin and fucking Mr. Fuzzy.  He's creeping me out,  to be honest.  I'm putting him on a shelf for tonight. 

-Iceland The Explorer

A/N:

1- I do have internet,  I'm just lazy and don't feel like searching for the correct terms.

2- I DO know the difference between a CD and a DVD. 

I just write that for the character,  ya know... just wanted to let you know that I'm not a useless brainless bag of potatoes.