Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Sunday, February 26

Dear Diary:

Today was the most annoying day in my life

I don't know where to start... Maybe from the beginning

So,  I woke up with Sealand jumping up and down my bed screaming

Sealand: TAKE ME TO THE PARK

Me: ....

I don't function correctly if I'm awaken with brutality and violence.... I don't ever function correctly to be honest
So it took me like 5 minutes to realize that it was 2017,  where I was,  and that Sealand broke into my room when I clearly remember putting a lock on the door

I was very angry but then I realized that I was halfway through the hallway and that Sealand was tugging me

I'm very slow when it's early

So I got dressed and all that blah,  drank cereal (I almost choked) and then I took him to the park

I only did it because he would start hitting me later on and it actually hurts ;-;

I sat down on the bench... And he also sat down on the bench
I was like "gtfo go play" and he was like "But I wanted to talk to you!"

I really want someone to hit me as hard as they can with a shovel

So he started talking about his good friend WY and how she's a good person and really nice and how they built a sandcastle and she destroyed it and Sealand forgave her because she's his friend or something like that

And then he suddenly got angry and remembered that people don't wanna accept him as a country and he got really sad and then he asked me if he could actually become a country some day

Of course he fucking can't.  He's just a little dot in the ocean wtf

But he would run away and get run over by a truck or something If I told him that,  so I said "Yeah,  whatever"

And he got so happy that  he hugged me

Look,  I have a few rules that people need to respect to be near me

1: Don't chew next to me.  It's gross

2: If you're gonna talk to me,  make sure to never put the words "big" and "brother"  next to each other

3: Don't ever force me to call you big brother or I'll chop you

4: Don't fucking touch me

And many more rules

He's lucky to be "family" or else I would of punched him real hard in the face for disrespecting my rules I never mentioned before

So after that,  he forced me to buy him ice cream (I can't take people seriously while they eat ice cream) and then we just went back home

It was ok I guess... Except that part when he told me he likes dubstep

That's unforgivable

So we got home,  I rested a bit,  nothing special...

And then someone knocked on my door

"Who could it be? " I asked myself.  I opened the door

Norway.... with some cake

I only let him in because of the cake,  don't think I wanted to let him in

So he sat down on my bed all like "Cake?"

I devoured the entire cake

He was sorta shook but then he started talking

Like,  he already gave me the cake,  get the fuck out

Norway:  I know we don't spend much time together...

Me:  ok..... go away

Norway: So today I'm gonna stay here and we'll spend time together

I swear,  I slammed my head against the wall SO HARD-

So he sorta forced me to show him things like my favorite bands,  games,  EVERYTHING.  Of course,  I didn't show him everything.  Or else I'd be in trouble or in a mental hospital

And then came the part that annoyed me the most

It was like... 2 in the morning and he was still there

So I kindly forced him to leave but-

Norway:  I'll leave.... But... You'll have to call me big brother first ^^

Me:  FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

Norway:  do it do it do it now now now plz do it do it big brother say it say it do it or else I won't leave

So now he's staying in my room and I'm in the closet lying on a pile of clothes

What can be worse than that? Well.... Sealand's room is next to mine and he's still awake watching a SpongeBob marathon

So I'm probably gonna smash my head against the wall until I pass out

Bye

-アイスランド  (there's a Japanese history book in here for some stupid reason)