Saturday, June 17

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Dear Diary:

HURRAY, I'M OLDER :DDDDD THAT WASN'T SARCASM  (or was it)

I woke up to Denmark screaming in my ear, Finland throwing a cake in my face, Norway shouting "WHO DAT BOI? IT DA BIRTHDAY BOI" and Sweden waving some maracas around

Lowkey the cringest thing that has ever happened to me besides existing

So anyways, everyone was like "YAAAAY HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAY.... now we're leaving you alone at home all day" and they left somewhere idk where

Ofc Sealand stayed

And then we just waited for Hong Kong and Liechtenstein to arrive, which they did very soon

Me: Hi gu-

And then Hong Kong lowkey attacked me and we made out on the dirty floor with Liechtenstein and Sealand watching

...

#RelationshipGoals

Liechtenstein: Happy birthday!! I got you no presents

HK: I MADE A SUPER AMAZING GIFT FOR YOU ON MY PHONE BUT I FORGOT IT AT Home....

Our friendship is wonderful

We all tried to get as much money as possible to take a plane trip to wherever dat mountain is

HK: HOW MUCH DID YOU GUYS GET? I GOT LIKE ABOUT 5000 DOLLARS! Don't ask...

Me: We got 100

Sealand: YUP! :D

Liechtenstein: I have golden toilet paper

Me: Weren't you going to sell that?

Liechtenstein: People didn't want to accept toilet paper as money...

HK: Boi, then why didn't you just kept it like normal toilet paper

Liechtenstein: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WIPE YOURSELF WITH TOILET PAPER MADE OUTTA GOLD?

Sealand: What do YOU know about that??

Liechtenstein: BECAUSE I TRIED!

Sealand: Woah woah woah... Girls pee?

Liechtenstein: We take shits too

Me: Omg

HK: Sealand omg

Sealand: THIS IS TOO MUCH TO PROCESS I'M SHOOK

Liechtenstein: WHAT DID YOU THINK WE DO IN THE BATHROOM?

Sealand: IDK MAYBE SING AND DANCE - SOME BROADWAY STUFF

Me: WAIT WAIT HOLD ON.... if nobody wanted to accept the toilet paper, then why use it here?

Liechtenstein: Because people in this country are stupid and they'll accept anything as long as it shines

Offensive but true...

So we all went to the airport and was walked up to some lady behind a counter

Me: Hi. 4 tickets to Mount Everest please

Lady: .... You need to tell me the country or city

Me: ......

Liechtenstein: .......

Sealand: I think it's in Asia

Me: Quick! In which country is Mount Everest, Hong Kong?!

HK: JUST BECAUSE I'M ASIAN DOESN'T MEAN I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ASIA YOU DILDO

Sealand: What's a dildo

HK: um... I THINK it was in Nepal...

Sealand: 4 tickets for nipple please! :D

Lady: Are you guys old enough to travel alone?

Us: ......

Liechtenstein: I have golden toilet paper

Lady: Okay! Have a nice trip!

So we did airport stuff and now we're on a plane

I still gotta tell everyone back at home that I took Sealand with me on a trip to climb the highest mountain in the world but I'm sure they won't mind ^^

Tomorrow we'll arrive! I'm so excited...this time, no sarcasm

-Birthday Boi

HHHHHHHH PHONE'S ON 2% I'LL FIX ERRORS OR ANYTHING TOMORROW

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