Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Wednesday, August 24

Dear Diary:

Okay,  so I just got my cast removed.   I swear,  I barely even remember how to use my arm. It's so awkward. I should probably cut it off.

Today when I got home I accidentally bumped my arm against the door.  I almost cried. It hurt so much.

It's really hard to look at my arm right now. It's like it doesn't even belong there.  I miss my cast with the ugly drawings on it. 

What if I draw on my arm?

Wait- that's really crazy. Nope.

Oh,  wait a sec,  diary. Someone's knocking on the door.  I'll be right back.

-_-_-_-_-_

Ok,  so after bumping my arm against absolutely every shitty piece of furniture in the house, I opened the door.

HK: Hey.

Me: What are doing at my house?? Oh,  and hey.

HK: I dunno.  I took a walk and ended up here.

Me: Your house is hours away from mine.

HK: ..... okay fine,  I came to see how your arm was.

I forgot I told him about it.  I mean... I would of told him anyways,  considering that he pushed me off that cliff.

Me: You really didn't have to come all the way here just to see my arm.

HK: I'm here for you,  not your arm. 

Wow.

Me:  That's.... nice.

HK: Thanks,  I guess.

So I awkwardly invited him inside.

HK: The hell-?  Did you like,  replace all your furniture or something.

Me: Long story.

I sat down on the couch,  and he sat right next to me. Something inside me told me to scoot closer to him,  but that would of been even more awkward than it already was.

HK: ....so...I'm glad your arm's ok.

Me: Yeah,  thanks for pushing me off a cliff again.

HK: No problem.

Me: Seriously,  why are you even here?  You could of called.

HK: Is it illegal to spend time with you?

Me: Well.... no-

It's not that I didn't want him to be there.  It was the complete opposite, but it just felt really awkward to be close to somebody that you like and may actually return the feelings.  I guess he thinks the same as well,  due to how quite he has been compared to other days. 

I don't even know how he manages to do that.  One day,  we're about to kiss each other,  and the next day,  we're sitting on the couch,  chilling,  talking like normal friends.  How?  I considered asking him,  but that would maybe make everything weird,  so I just kept it to myself.

Me:  Is there some reason you wanna spend time with me?

He blushed.  I should not have asked that.

HK: N-Not one specifically.....I just want to spend time with you!!

And he tackled me into a hug.  It was my turn to blush now.

Me: Well,  I want to spend time with you too-

HK: Great!  Then we can have like... A SUPER FUN WEEKEND TOGETHER!

Me: .....it's Wednesday.

HK:  ....... a super fun Wednesday and Thursday together?

Me:  Seems right enough.

First,  I don't even know why the sudden urge to hang out with me.  Maybe there's something on his mind that's been bugging him and he wants to spend time with someone to forget it.  I really don't know. 

Second... I can't write the second thing.  It's too embarrassing.

I invited him to stay over,  because I really wanted him to. I guess he really wanted to stay over too,  since he didn't refuse to the invitation or doubt before answering.

Now that I think about it,  I don't even remember when I first started feeling like this towards him.  Before,  I only really saw him as a friend.  A really good friend that I have lots on common with. Ever since that day when we ran away (oooh unintended rhyme)  from that stupid camp place,  I knew that something about him was special.  Not as in  "We like the same things,  let's be friends"  but something else.  Something that I didn't know how to explain,  until now.  I guess I sorta ignored it,  since it was really the first time I felt it.

I'm silently cursing myself for being such a retard and writing all this in my diary.  Goddammit,  this SERIOUSLY needs a lock.

I'm going to sleep.  I'm really... ugh, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I just feel really... tired?  No,  I'm not tired.  It's something else.  Well,  I suppose I'll find out tomorrow.  Also... this might sound weird, but I really feel like going to sleep on the couch... with him.  He won't mind since he's asleep, but how awkward would that be? 

Wow,  I'm such a piece of shit.

-Iceland