Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Wednesday, March 29

Dear Diary:

Fucking Sealand-

So...

How ya'll doing today??

Good? Bad? Great!

Today Sweden, Sealand, Finland and Norway went to some concert with "friends". Denmark didn't wanna go and I really didn't wanna spend my precious time with some shitheads at a concert so-

Denmark agreed to take care of me and I agreed to behave

Nobody believed that but they left anyways

As soon as they left we both grabbed a bucket of ice cream, sat on the table and started eating and talking a bit

Denmark: ...... So

Me: ...........So?

Denmark: Bitches are gone

Me: Yep.....

Denmark: What do you wanna do?

Me: I don't know-

Denmark: Movie?

Me: Nah

Denmark: Hm....pizza party?

Me: Who we gonna invite? It's 11 pm

Denmark: True, true....

Me: ......

Denmark: ......... I'll tell you a secret

Me: Which one?

Denmark: Whichever you want to know. I'm soooo bORED

Me: Hm..... How do you keep your hair like that? It's abnormal

Denmark: ................. I'll teach you... BUT IT'S A SECRET

Me: Are you going to snap my neck and murder me in there or-?

Denmark: HAHAHAHAHA

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

Denmark: Don't feel like it

Me: Don't feel like getting killed

So we walked over to the bathroom

Denmark: First- you need gel

Me: Okay, but.... Shouldn't you.... wash the gel you're wearing away first?

Denmark: HAHAHAHA NO BECAUSE THEN I FEEL SHORT AND INSECURE AND I HATE MYSELF

Me: OKAY!

Denmark: So I'll put it on you-

Me: What the fuck no-

But then I felt the weight of a whole bottle of gel being poured on my head....

Me: SO MUCH?

Denmark: I'M USING HALF OF WHAT I USUALLY USE SHUT UP

So he sorta started spiking it up and I was shook because I liked my plain boring hair just like it was. I don't wanna be a white pineapple ;-;

Then he violently turned me around facing the mirror

I cringed

Like... my hair is not as long as Denmark's is so it didn't make me look taller or anything.... Just really really weird

Me: .....

Denmark: ......

Me: .......

Denmark: If it makes you feel better, you don't look as bad as when Norway died his hair with blood

Me:  That definitely makes me feel a lot better

Denmark:  I assumed

Me: ..............

Denmark: .............. Sweden bought new glass for the windows

Me: .......

Denmark: To replace the old ones.....

Me: ......... I know where you're going with this

Denmark:  Wanna smash some windows and say it was an animal?

Me:  Yes

So we grabbed a bat and smashed some windows

Not the best idea ever....I got a piece of glass stuck in my forehead...

And Denmark screamed and picked me up. Then he dropped me down on the couch and wrapped my forehead and part of my face in bandages

Denmark: PLEASE DON'T DIE

Me: I'm ok-

Denmark: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL 911???

Me: I don't think the Americans can make it here on time

Denmark: .................. Want pizza?

Me:  Ok

So we ate pizza and I spilled soda everywhere on accident and then I don't remember anything

I think I fell asleep... covered in pizza, soda, bandages and gel

I'm proud of myself, honestly

I woke up in my bed about three hours later. Finland and the rest had just arrived

I noticed when Sweden suddenly yelled

Sweden:  WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WINDOWS?????????

So... I just went back to sleep...

"Sleep"

Because if I really went to sleep I wouldn't be writing this, duh

.... Awkward, but at least I can assure 1 more person cares about... me..

Oh god this is extremely cringey to read fuck I'm so sorry but I don't care

-Iceland

If you had a penny for every time you cringed reading this story, how much money would you have?

I would have about a billion dollars