Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Monday, June 5

Dear Diary:

Today wasn't the best day at all...

We woke up at like 5 am (Denmark woke us all up with pots and pans. All I can say is that Norway lost one while getting his revenge)

We were all like

Us:  *sleepy voice* h-happy... bi-irthda-

Denmark: YAY-  NOW GET IN THE CAR

He's demanding when it's that early

So we got in the car and we started driving and going idk where but we had a GPS so it was ok

Bad thing is, the voice thing makes us all laugh because it's voice is weird so that's turned off and whoever drives has to read

Thing is, at one one point, the road was under construction and the GPS warned us about it but Denmark was like

Denmark: ..... I can't see what that says

Finland: It says-

Denmark:  UM... RIGHT-

It didn't say right at aLL SO WE ENDED GOING THE WRONG WAY AND THE NEXT THING WE KNEW WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING DESERT
Me: WHY ARE WE IN A DESERT

Norway: There aren't even deserts in this country...

Denmark: HEY! I JUST FOLLOWED THE GPS

Norway: YOU NEED GLASSES

Denmark: GLASSES MAKE ME LOOK STUPID! I HAVE CONTACTS

Norway: WHERE ARE THEY?

Denmark: THEY FELL ONE DAY AND I CAN'T FIND THEM

Sweden: Jinkies

Finland: OUT OF ALL TIMES TO MAKE JOKES, THIS ISN'T A VERY GOOD ONE, SWE!

Norway: ALSO, WHY ARE WE IN A DESERT?!?! THERE AREN'T DESERTS IN SCANDINAVIA!

Denmark: BECAUSE IT'S MY COUNTRY AND I CAN DO ANYTHING TO IT!

Finland: THAT'S A LIE! WE'RE SO FUCKING LOST YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE ARE!

Denmark: I'M NOT LYING! CLOSE YOUR EYES! AND WHEN YOU OPEN THEM, WE'LL BE IN THE PLACE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO

Finland: Okay, they're closed

Denmark:  MMMMM- OPen them

Finland: ....

Denmark: What do you see?

Finland: I see a blond retard that got us all lost

Denmark: ..... CAN'T Y'ALL USE YOUR IMAGINATION?

Sweden: I'm using mine to decapitate you

Norway: You deserve a pat on the back, Sweden

Denmark: .....Well, let's get back in the ca- Where's the car?

Me: Somebody stole our car while you nitwits were here fighting about imaginary deserts

Norway: BUT THERE AREN'T DESERTS IN THIS COUNTRY!! HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?

Denmark: WELL, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A CURL FUCKING FLOATING NEXT TO YOUR HEAD?!? EH? EEEEH?

Norway: Hetalia logic

Sweden: I just heard something breaking in the distance

Finland:  The titans... we need to kill them all...

Me: Calm down there, Yeager-

Sealand: HEY! I SEE A PUB FROM HERE!

Norway: Since when are you here?

Finland: That's very nice, sweetie, buT GET OFF MY HEAD OR I'LL CASTRATE YOU WITH A RUSTY CAN

And so, we started walking towards that pub, and it actually was a pub

We all drank  (I drank yogurt...) and everyone was drunk

Except Sealand tho, he just drank water

I had to call a taxi to get us all home. Not really the cheapest thing ever, so I automatically counted it as Den's birthday gift

I'm a great person, I know

And that was today... Bleh

-Iceland