Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Friday, July 19

Dear Diary:

Hello

It's me

So, uh... Here I am, once again

feeling lost but now and then-

KSJSKS I had to glue a piece of cardboard to the back cover of this so I could write a little more. I don't know why I did that since I have another diary I never used but hngggn

"uGh wHy aRe You wriTiNg iN thiS agA-" GOOD QUESTION

I just... really really really... REALLY missed the feeling of being able to say whatever bullshit you want to, free of judgment (not really, because I re-read this entire thing last night and judged my past self so hard lmfao)

Also, I just wanted to... update. You know...? Like, I didn't die after I finished this, my life kept going. It's sorta like, some weird sort of epilogue??? I feel like it's necessary, but I don't know why....

Anyway, what have I done after this?? Pretty much nothing. I keep procrastinating on life. But I'm allowed to do that because my life is very very long and I will probably live until global warming kills us all in 5 years lol

Things have been... like always. I would say, "normal", but that's debatable, honestly

Hong Kong is still my boyfriend. Yaaaay. And Liechtenstein is still the third wheel in our relationship, but now Sealand hangs out with us too, so he's the fourth wheel. We have evolved from tricycle to car

The Nordics are fine, too. Except Norway... I really don't want to talk about it.... If future me is reading, you probably understand.

As for me, I'm pretty much the same as always. Except I discovered reddit last year and now I'm going to hell

I remember thinking I was going to watch more things, like movies or play more videos games because of all my free time, but I just... did nothing. The only thing I did in this gap of time without a diary was breathe.

Oh, and I changed my aesthetic. Now I'm not an emo boi anymore. Surprising, isn't it?? It bet you're s h o o k right now

I tried to fake being an emo boi for about a few weeks after my shocking self-discovery, but.... I felt like that wasn't me anymore... I just thought that maybe everyone would hate me if I showed my true colors.... that I would be judged, or disliked, so I hid my new identity for a long while....

But, one day, after watching Bob Ross and eating mac and cheese, I was inspired to shout out to the world "HEY WORLD- THIS IS ME!! AND IF YOU DONT LIKE ME!!! THATS FIne because I don't either.... BUT I'LL DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT!!"

So, I decided I would come out....

I was so scared... But the idea of having my friends and family never know the true me, and live with fake me forever, was scarier

I gathered everyone together and, after a very long speech, I finally came out..... as a soft boi

Hong Kong literally passed out for like, an entire day

Everyone else was so shocked, but they supported my decision and we all cried, and then we ate some brownies Finland made, and then we all laughed for 5 hours straight

I don't remember anything after that

To celebrate my coming out, Hong Kong and I went shopping. I literally never go shopping with Hong Kong because he stays for hours and hours and hours and buys so much stuff omfg and takes a fuck ton of pictures with clothes he didn't even buy?? Like wtf

ANYWAY, we went shopping and I picked out an outfit that fitted my new aesthetic, and when I tried it on and showed it to him, he did what I assume was a smile (a very strange one) and said "Ummm......If you like it........👍"

He's so supportive :) I love him sm :) Couldn't have asked for anything better

So now I had to redecorate my room and it's so cool now. And I decorated my closet so I could hide in there all week and watch Netflix and paint on my shoes and literally any piece of fabric I can find

I paint and draw really badly, though, so...... That'll have to improve

That's about everything I have to say. The only reason I won't keep adding any more pages to this or start writing on the new diary is because.... I don't feel lonely anymore. I have my friends to talk to, and I feel like I can be myself with them, and the Nordics now. I didn't have that before. I feel more complete now :) I just wanted to come back and visit, see my progress and... stuff.... You know, just stop and look around me, and all that I went through to get to where I am now...

I don't know...

It's getting late, and soft bois need to sleep well to look.... soft

Unlike emo bois, soft bois don't stay up till 4 am crying or watching concerts of bands that are extinct

Soft bois play the ukulele and sing soft songs, and stay healthy and drink lots of water mm ahhh refreshing and they are well rested, with no bags under their eyes

To get rid of the bags under my eyes from my emo phase, I need to sleep at 5 pm and wake up at 10 am for 600 years straight, so lmao let's start now

It was nice to write in this again :) But I hope I never ever have to again because that would mean I turned into a sad boi :/

Signing off forever, or until I get a mental breakdown and get admitted to a mental hospital,

-Iceland

P.S: I almost forgot-

Happy birthday, diary :)