:DAN | danxreader

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It has been a month since I last saw Dan or spoke to him. Whenever he tried to contact me, I ignored it.

But at this point he seems back to normal. He's back on social media and uploaded two videos, without mentioning me or what happened once.
And so am I. I tried my best to forget him and focus on uni. I've realized that getting too close to someone I work or worked with is just wrong.
I'm glad it is that way.
I do obviously still talk to Phil and know that they leave for their US book tour in a week.

Everything is going good in life until I get a message on my phone.
Phil: We have to talk, call me.

What is that supposed to mean? I dial his number and call.
The first thing he says is: "They found out who you are."
"First of all: Hello to you too. And secondly who are 'they' and what?"
"The viewers, they know who you are."
"And? I don't care, me and Dan are clearly not close anymore."
"No, Y/N, I mean they found the tweet of yours Dan retweeted ages ago about the book signing. They think you were just a fan that wanted Dan for attention and now that you have it, you dropped him."

It takes me a few moments to process everything.

"Shit. What do we do?"
"Firstly you and Dan have to get your shit together and talk everything out like adults, you guys aren't that much younger than me but are acting like children."
"Phil..."
"No. I'm sick of you guys. Come over today."

Arguing with Phil never works anyway, so I just agree.
What did I get myself into?

***

I arrive at their house at 2 pm with Phil already waiting at the door. "Wow really couldn't wait to see me?", I say jokingly.
"I'm leaving actually.", he responds.
"What? No you can't leave me alone with hi-", I get cut off by Dan appearing behind Phil. "Hey".
"Hey Dan", I say to Dan and look at Phil angrily.
"Well got to go, see you on Monday", he says and walks off.
I glaze at him while he goes into the car and turn to Dan. "So, want to come in?", he says and I nod. Dan looks different. He has a new shirt on. A button up. And his sides are shaved and his hobbit hair is in full action. And he lost some weight. And got paler. And his dimple got deeper. So did his voice.
He looks good, he looked good before, but he looks good.

We sit down on the sofa and don't say anything. We just look around the room and at each other.

He has his earring in. And his hair got lighter. I notice so many changes.

"Y/N...", he begins, "I'm sorry, I fucked up. I really am. You've been on my mind every day. I'm sorry I didn't admit my feelings for you. They were there. But I was scared. I didn't know if you felt the same way. And I'm sorry I gave you hope. I wanted to like you, and I did, but something in the back of my mind kept telling me that I'm not good enough. I can't keep up a relationship. I'm not good at that. You deserve better."

And suddenly his pale skin looks sick, his eyes look sad. He looks unhealthy. He doesn't look good anymore. He did look good before I was a bitch to him. Why did it take me so long to realize.

"I- I don't know what to say", I tell him, "I can't believe you thought, or think you weren't good enough. I didn't know that was the reason for your behaviour. I thought you played with my heart. You played with your own, Dan.
You were perfect to me. Never doubt that or that you aren't good enough. Do you know how many people would kill to be with you? You are more than perfect, everything about you, and I can't believe I was just focusing on myself, when you needed it more that anyone. I should be the one apologising. I'm sorry, I really am."
Dan looks at me and smiles: "I'm glad you understand. But it's okay, I understand too. Love you, Y/N"
"No Dan. Don't love me, love yourself."
"Y/N, I'm fin-"
"No, no you're not and you know that. Dan you are amazing."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me for stating the obvious."
He smiles: "Thank you, honestly. It means a lot to me that you feel this way about me. I believe you and it means the world to me."
"Love you, Dan"
"I love you too."