It had been a few months but the death threats and messages telling her to kill herself continued. It got so bad that she had to turn off the message feature along with the 'ask' feature. The squad knew about the death threats but she told them not to worry about them. They were probably just kids who had nothing better to do, she told them. They tried to get her to press charges or at least get the messages investigated but she always told them they didn't have to do that. "Jayde, we can find out who's sending you these messages. These are serious threats", Rafael told her.
"It's probably just some kids messing with me", she said.
The messages and death threats stopped and Jayde wrote a message to her followers: Due to recent death threats and bullying, I've had to turn off my messages and ask. I just wanted to apologize to those of you who have supported me and who've I've enjoyed talking to but some people ruined this for everyone. – Jayde
Rafael emailed her later: I know you told me not to follow up on the threats, but I wanted to tell you that we (the squad and myself) have traced the threats. The origin of the threats we found out, were coming from a computer on the NYU campus. We have a suspect in custody and are talking to him. Again, I know you told me not to, I just wanted to make sure you are safe. – Rafael
Rafael, I'm not angry if that's what you're worried about. I'm actually relieved, to be honest. When I told you not to look into this, I didn't want you to worry about me (again!). I appreciate everything you and the squad have done for us. I hope to see you tomorrow. – Jayde
Just wanted to let you know the suspect has confessed to sending you the messages. He didn't give a clear answer as to why but now you don't have to worry. I can get a restraining order to protect you, Johnny and Steven. I know you're as stubborn as I am, but just think about it. – Rafael
Good lord. When will this ever stop? Maybe I should hire Fin as my personal bodyguard. We might consider the restraining order, I'll have to talk to the hubby about it some more. I'll be over tomorrow with the usual and maybe after some coffee, we can talk about this some more. – Jayde
Rafael thought as he read her reply. He and the squad wanted to protect her and what she went through wasn't fair and now she was getting death threats. He thought about what she wrote: when will this ever stop? At that moment, he didn't have an answer for her. He wanted to do this for her, the woman he once loved. He knew she was happily married but he realized that he was still in love with her. She was one of the strongest women he had ever met but he knew he could never have her.
The next day he and Olivia were in her office talking about what to do. Neither of them wanted her to get hurt. "I never asked you, but how did this friendship with her start?"
He perked his eyebrows up as he couldn't believe she was asking her this. "We became friends after we both realized we love broadway".
Olivia nodded her head knowing that he wasn't telling her everything. "And..."
"She was listening to music and I asked her what she was listening to. We got to emailing each other back and forth after she sent me a playlist of her favorite songs".
"And then you asked her out".
He smiled. "Did she tell you that? Yes I did before she got married and I emailed her accusing her of using me to be her side guy and she apologized. We both decided to be friends because we needed someone who appreciated broadway". He looked out the door to see where she was at that moment. Olivia saw this and smirked. "But you still love her".
He sighed and shrugged.
That afternoon, they were in his office talking about the threats. They both agreed that it wasn't fair. He went over to her as he tried to push his feelings down. She's married, he told himself. "Why are you so good to me, Rafi?"
He sighed silently. "Because I love you", he told her. He saw her look at him as if she was wondering if she heard him right. He kissed her then pulled away. She looked at him. "I'm married. I got to go". She grabbed her stuff then left his office leaving him hating himself for kissing her.
That night, she was video chatting with Johnny. Steven had been put down for the night and she was in a sour mood. He asked her what was wrong. "Rafael told me that he loves me then he kissed me".
He nodded not knowing what to say. "He kissed you? Wow. I don't know what to say".
"Are you angry with me?"
A sigh and he looked down shaking his head. "You promised me you wouldn't... I just... I don't know". He thought about what his wife had told him. He had been hurt so many times but he never thought his own best friend would do this. He cleared his throat not wanting to cry. "I uh... I have to go".
Jayde went to her bed and she started crying knowing that her husband was angry and hurt. How could she do this to him, he thought. The woman he loved. The next day, she and Rafael could hardly look at each other. She wanted to make an excuse, she didn't feel good and get out of there. Instead she went to the ladies room where she thought of what to do. Amanda saw her leave and she went to the one place she knew Jayde would be. She wrapped her in a hug. Tears ran down her face as she wrapped her arms around her friend. "What happened?"
"Johnny hates me. Yesterday we were video chatting and I told him that Rafael told me he loved me and that he kissed me".
Olivia came in and saw that she was upset. Amanda told her what was going on. "And now Johnny thinks I cheated on him and he won't even talk to me. Rafael was helping me get a restraining order against the guy who was sending me death threats. I'm sorry, I know this is stupid".
Olivia rubbed her back and looked at her. "Jayde, never apologize for feeling, ok? We all know these past few months have been tough, the whole year actually and I'm surprised you haven't broken down already. I know you, Johnny and Barba will work through all this".
Johnny called her later that day to apologize. "I should apologize, love. I'm the one who got assaulted and you shouldn't have to worry about me".
He could tell she was crying and he wanted to be there for her. "Jayde, you are incredibly strong but you don't have to apologize for breaking down every once in awhile. I love you so much. I want to worry about you. I want to wonder whether or not you're happy because you're my life. You and the kids".
Jayde sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I love you. I love you and only you".
I just wanted to apologize for my behavior. I was out of line and I realized that I've hurt you. You don't deserve that. I should have known better than to kiss you. When I saw you today, I knew that I had hurt you and I am truly sorry. I want to take it back and I wish I could. Please talk to me. – Rafael
I was upset, not because of what happened but because I thought my husband hated me. I don't hate you. I'm was also upset because I realized that you've loved me and I missed everything: the coffee date, the Wicked date, the flirting. I guess it's that and a combination of all the stress that has been piling up. I do and always will want you in my life. – Jayde
