Day one: my wife is in the kitchen with Steven and Kiera who are eating a snack before bed. Kiera is getting crabby but Jayde is handling this like a pro. I'm in awe of her mommy skills and the way she handles two tired toddlers without losing her sanity. I don't think I could do that.
Jayde smiled as she read through the notebook Rafael had given her for their anniversary. He was sound asleep beside her and she looked at him happily.
Jayde is pregnant! She took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. We are going to the doctor to confirm it but I am over the moon right now. We're going to wait to tell everyone until after we go to the doctor. I love her and our unborn baby so much!
Update: Jayde is officially pregnant. We got a sonogram today and she wants to put the news on her blog. I told Olivia because I was so excited. I don't think she's ever seen me like that in her life. I can't believe I'm going to be a dad!
Jayde laughed to herself as she flipped through some pages. She found an entry about his affair.
I messed up and now she's gone. I lost the one person who has loved me for six years. This all started because I allowed myself to kiss another woman. I came clean to Jayde who got upset. She said that she wants a divorce. I don't blame her. I don't blame anyone but myself.
She frowned as she looked at her sleeping husband. The affair had been a low point but she had forgiven him and after a few years, they decided to try again. Now they were remarried with five children.
Jayde is the only person who can make me laugh and I love her so much. There are so many reasons why I fell in love with her. The first time I realized that I was falling for her, she came in with her arm wrapped up. I thought she had hurt herself but she told me that she had just got another tattoo. I fell in love with her sense of humor, her laugh, the fact that she is beautiful and can beat me in sarcasm, her wit, and her ability to never give up. The first time I allowed myself to be in love with her was when I was at the hospital with her. She had just been assaulted and was in a coma. The doctor didn't think she would wake up and if she did, she would have permanent brain damage. She woke up and her brain scan showed no damage at all.
She is one of the strongest women I've ever met. After her assault, every time I saw her, she had a smile on her face even after she was diagnosed with PTSD. I've only seen her break down once and her strength is inspirational. I realized that I wanted her in my life for the rest of my life. She is the reason I let my guard down and opened up my heart.
Aww, she thought. He had told her many times how much he loved her but to see it in writing was different. She put the notebook down and turned off the lamp on her bedside table then fell asleep.
The next morning she awoke to him laying in bed reading the book she gave him. This made her smile. "Good morning, mi vida".
He looked at her and smiled. "Good morning, cariño". He rolled on top of her and she ran her fingers through his hair. "I want to but the doctor says no".
He stuck out his lower lip but then disappeared under the covers making her laugh. She knew what he was going to do and he removed her underwear then started going in and out with his tongue. She moaned opening her legs further for him. "That feels so good". He moved his hands to her area and started messaging it. She moaned some more as he continued going in and out. His hands continued rubbing her and she started getting wet for him. He licked all around her area and she threw her head on the pillow. Her hands reached to the headboard and she grabbed ahold of it. "Yes, right there".
She moaned as he continued going in and out of her. "I'm almost there". He moved his lips from her area and he started rubbing her. She was so wet and he smiled. "You feel so good", he told her. She moaned as she came on his hands. He came back up and kissed her. "The doctor didn't say anything about not doing that".
She laughed as she rolled on top of him. "Your heart isn't ready for sex yet".
"I know". He ran his fingers through her hair.
"I read through the notebook last night after you fell asleep. I didn't finish it but I loved everything you wrote".
"That's because everything is true", he told her with a smile.
That afternoon was spent together walking around Central Park people watching. Jayde kept a close eye on her husband just in case. They sat down on a bench and she rested her head on his shoulder. He looked over at her and smiled. "You're so beautiful, cariño".
She smiled. "And you are Mr. Handsome".
He laughed and he put his arm around her then kissed her head. The moment was perfect and they enjoyed every second.
Rest In Peace, Rafael Eduardo Barba.
You were a wonderful husband and father.
Someday we'll meet again in heaven.
I love you, mi vida.
Rafael had a silent heart attack and died in his sleep. Jayde called 911 when she couldn't wake him. Tears went down her face as they confirmed his death. She collapsed to the floor and an EMT caught her. He was gone forever. The squad had heard about his death and they immediately rushed over to her. Amanda and Sonny saw her in the apartment she shared with Rafael. They walked over to her. "Jayde. We are so sorry. How are you doing?"
Tears were still falling. "I found him. He wouldn't wake up. The EMT thinks he had a silent heart attack. He was fine when we went to bed".
Amanda rubbed her back. "Where are the kids?"
"Santana is with Sonny's parents, RJ is at mock trial practice and Lucy is at a sleepover".
They went to the precinct and when Jayde walked in, everyone looked at her. She was still in her pajamas but she didn't care. Fin came over and gave her a hug. "Jayde, we are so sorry. Can we do anything for you?"
She shook her head. "I just want to sit down". They brought her to a room and she sat down. Olivia and Amanda stayed with her while Sonny called his parents. She grabbed a Kleenex and wiped her eyes. "I have to tell the kids but I don't want to bother them right now". Both Amanda and Olivia nodded understandingly. "The last thing he said was 'I love you'".
Olivia rubbed her back. "I can't even imagine what you're going through. Rafael was one of a kind".
She nodded. "He loved the kids and that's one of the reasons we never gave up on our marriage. Even when we fought. He gave me a notebook for our anniversary that he filled with things he loved about me. It feels weird to think he's not here anymore".
During the day, the squad contacted her kids and they came to the precinct. "Where's papa", Santana asked. Jayde looked at her five children. "Papa isn't here anymore. His heart stopped working and he died last night".
The kids started crying and RJ got mad. "No! He promised he would take me to the baseball game!" He went to a separate part of the room and started crying. Amanda came in just in case she needed her. "Why did papa have to die", Santana asked through her tears.
"Come over here". She got up and sat on her mother's lap.
Rafael's funeral was a week later. Amanda and Olivia brought their kids who played with her kids. Santana stayed with her mother not wanting to leave her side, not even for a second. Amanda's daughter Jesse came over and gave her a hug. "Thank you, Jesse", Santana told her.
Rafael was buried with the book Jayde had given him for their anniversary. After the funeral, everyone went back to Olivia's apartment for lunch. "Thank you for doing this".
She smiled a little. "You're welcome. If you or the kids need anything, please call".
A nod. "We will. Thank you".
We miss you, Rafi. I'm so thankful for amazing friends that came out to pay respects. Everything was the way he would have wanted it.
