Mixed Girl Problems

M E S S Y

My heart sped up and I began to cry as I wiped again and saw more blood.

"No no no no" I cried as looking at the blood all over my hands. "DeAndre!" I cried.

"What?! What's wrong?!" He yelled at the bathroom door.

"I'm bleeding!" I cried. In a panick he called his mom and she ran into the bathroom.

"Come on let's get to the hospital"

I cried the entire ride there as DeAndre and his mom argued.

So many thoughts ran through my head. What if I'm loosing the baby? I held onto my cramping stomach as crying. This can't be happening I'm having a bad dream. I have to be.

"Please please stop arguing" I cried as they yelled at each other.

Once we arrived at the hospital I sat in a wheelchair in a pool of my own blood.

We eventually got taken back and I had a few ultrasounds I was just now waiting for the results.

I cried the entire time and tried to sleep but I couldn't. During every ultrasound I asked if they saw anything wrong but they always told me they're not allowed to tell me.

3 hours had past and a doctor finally came in.

I looked over at my DeAndre who held onto my hand tightly. I looked at the doctor with tears in my eyes already knowing what she was going to say. Yet I still some how had hope in my heart. I still tried to believe that I was going to hear what I had waited all night to.

Instead I heard the opposite.

"I'm so sorry, but it looks like a miscarriage"

I've never cried so hard in my life. I've never felt this type of pain. It's only a feeling that a mother who's lost the child that was blossoming inside of her could understand.

I looked over at DeAndre who sat there in silence with tears streaming down his face. He quickly got up and ran out of the room knocking things over on the way out. I cried harder knowing that he's on house arrest and isn't supposed to be going anywhere. In that moment I was more worried about him than myself.

Hours have passed and I of course still feel like shit.

Pregnancy classes never prepared me for something like this. NOTHING could have prepared me for something like this. I kept rubbing my stomach wishing that this was just a bad dream. I want my baby back.