Mixed Girl Problems

U N L U C K Y

He loved me at one point, but now he's just attached and loves what I do for him. He loves the fact that I've been there for him, supported him, uplifted him, and loved him like no other woman ever has and will anytime soon. I hope that he finds what he's looking for, because I'm not it.

I sat across from him as biting my lip in the most non-sexual way possible. Wondering, is this the end for us? I haven't been feeling good lately mentally or physically, my breast have been hurting, I've been feeling sick, and constantly hot. Just like I was when I was... Pregnant. But I can't be, at least I don't think i am.

I sat around the dinner table trying to keep these thoughts out of my head. I know before I might've wanted to get pregnant again and have a child but the thing about that is, it's in the past. I don't feel that way anymore, I just want to finish school and get a job and live for me and myself only. If I am pregnant, I'll of course be happy but terrified. I've been drinking and smoking non-stop all month long.... Just like before.

"Niyah?" DeAndre's mom called.

"Ye-Yes?" I replied.

"You gonna eat?" She asked as laughing.

"Sorry I was just thin-"

I then ran from the table and into the bathroom, vomiting in the toilet. Great.

It doesn't have to mean that I'm pregnant, I could've just been so nervous about being pregnant that I got sick. At least that's what I thought.

I walked into DeAndre's bedroom as he played his video game. He looked up at me then back at the screen ignoring my presence.

"I have something to tell you." I said as nervously smiling.

"Ight." He replied.

"I- I might be pregnant." I studdered on my words.

"Really?" He replied as smiling. He turned around looking at me with a smile spread across his face as mines faded. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, babe. Just scared."

"It's ok, we'll find out soon."

He said as hugging me tightly. I smiled softly as a tear rolled from my cheek onto his shoulder.

That day I begged my mom for $20 for the pregnancy test and weed, just in case it came back negative. Once my mom finally said yes and I finally got a ride to get it, the sun had already fallen and every store near DeAndre's home would be closed. Me and DeAndre sat at his laptop looking up stores in a decent distance from him to walk to and buy a pregnancy test. We finally gave up looking at around 3 in the morning. It was exhausting, we hadn't smoked at all even though we had major jitters. He just wanted me to not smoke, in case the test did come back positive.

"Maybe we could ask my mom if she has change for the bus?" DeAndre suggested.

"I don't know, it's late." I replied.

"I'ma ask."

10 minutes later DeAndre and his mom walked into our room as she put her coat on.

"Let's go." She said as grabbing her car keys.

We both threw on some shoes as she walked to the car. That night we went to a CVS that was open 24/7. I ended up spending all of my money on that pregnancy test just to make sure it was accurate.

It came back positive...

Author's Note ♥

Sorry that I've been so absent writing wise, life is busy as fuckkkk. This is very hard to write specially cause this shit really happened but I'm trying to push through it and write more ♥ I appreciate the views and votes Thank youuu xoxoxo ♥