Mixed Girl Problems

T R E E

My mind tends to wonder to mysterious places every time I zone out. But when I am in a state of deep sleep I dream of things that seem so exotic yet so familiar. They sometimes leave me in a state of confusion, or a puddle of sweat while I try to catch my breath. Fear is a powerful thing that could drive someone crazy, and I cant sleep.

"DeAndre? Who the fuck is this?" I asked as looking the girl up and down. He quickly hid behind me clinging to the back of my shirt.

"I-I" She stuttered.

"Ba- Babe this is just my friend, Layla." he stumbled behind her.

"DeAndre, don't make me fuck this bitch up." I replied in anger. Everything in me told me to hit her. Hit her hit her HIT HER, but there was this little voice in my head reminding me that I was pregnant and she was no where near worth any distress to my child. "Bitch you're so lucky I'm pregnant."

"I swear I didn't know about you we're just friends." She said frantically. I could tell she was scared but I didn't care, I knew she knows who I am. She doesn't know who I am but they're also just friends? Doesn't make any fucking sense. She quickly walked away as if her life depended on it.

"We're fucking done!" I yelled as pushing DeAndre away from me.

I walked away so fast, if I didn't I would've killed both of them. Every single ounce every bone everything in my body hurt, ached and throbbed with pain. My adrenaline was running so high I felt like punching someone anyone in the face. My heart was hurting.

The next day my mom called me and told me a fauster care worker had called her and said Monroe was in their care. She also told me that she was 3 months behind on rent and might have to move into a shelter with my younger sisters. My heart dropped even more, after I thought it couldn't anymore. I couldn't take anymore.

The stood in the shower zoned out preparing myself to leave DeAndre's home for good. I had so many emotions crowding my heart at once I almost felt... Numb. I looked down and watched as bright red blood washed down the drain, I screamed. My heart pounding I quickly jumped out of the shower.

"Not again lord please not again." I cried as wrapping my towel around me. Blood dripped down my legs and I couldn't help but cry and feel helpless. My heart was screaming. I already knew what was happening, as much as I wanted to deny it deep down I knew. And all signs of hope was torn to shreds.

I sat in a pool of my own tears feeling nothing but sorry for myself. My sister is now in an orphanage, my mom and other sisters are about to be put in a shelter, my boyfriend has cheated on me and left me for another woman, and Ive lost my second child. I was hurting and just wanted the pain to stop. I tried to keep a smile on my face and remain calm, cool, and collected but I couldn't. My life felt as if it was coming to a halt, almost like it was ending. Disaster had struck and I didn't know how to deal with it. So I cried and cried and cried until I couldnt anymore until my eyes were puffy and red.