Mixed Girl Problems

S C H O O L

I sat in class ready to get the fuck out of this place.

I hate going to a place where I'm surrounded by idiots, fake ratchet bitches, and wanna be thugs. All of the things going on in my personal life are over crowding my mind. I looked around realizing no one could ever guess what I'm going through. It just shows how little you truly know about a person.

I sat in the library looking for a book to take my mind off of my fucked up life.

I turned around as looking down at a book that looked somewhat good. I looked up and found Carlos smiling at me. I rolled my eyes trying not to apologize for what DeAndre did.

I sat down at a table and he followed behind.

"I've missed you." He said smiling as he sat down across from me.

"I thought you dropped out." I replied looking through the book.

"All I had to do was show up in a uniform and no one would suspect shit"

"Okay... That's not creepy at all."

I looked up from the book and caught a glimpse of his beautiful blue eyes. I quickly looked back down. I felt the feelings rushing back all at once. I tried to stop and deny them but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry about what DeAndre did." I said as looking up at him. He chuckled.

"Its cool. I don't know what I expected from the boyfriend of the girl I like." He replied as shrugging.

"Look Car-"

"I don't know what you're doing with a nigga like that. You deserve better."

I rolled my eyes. Im so tired of hearing that same old line 'You deserve better'

"Carlos you're one of the good ones. You deserve better than a pregnant girl who has a crazy boyfriend that hates you"

"You know... You're the first girl I ever felt like I can tell anything to-"

"So let's just be friends!" I replied as shrugging. He sighed and looked down at his lap. He shrugged and then got up walking away.

Persuasion then walked in and sat next to me.

"Why won't you give him a chance." She asked as sliding the book over to her.

"I have a fucking boyfriend" I replied angrily as getting up. She followed behind me.

"A piece of shit boyfriend-"

"Who I'm now trapped with!" I snapped as a tear rolled down my face. I quickly wiped it away. "Did you forget that I was pregnant with his child? I feel like everyone keeps fucking forgetting that."

"You can still leave" she said as following behind me. I walked out of the library trying to calm down.

"Why would I do that?! Even if a small part of me wanted to leave. I can't anymore. Besides I love him why don't you get that" I said as walking to class.

"I just don't get what there is to see in him"

I turned around stopping her in her tracks.

"He's my everything. He's been there for me through everything. You don't have to be getting gifts and fancy dinners from your boyfriend all the time in order for him to prove that he loves you. It's not about objects and things given its about the love kindness and connection Persuasion." I replied.

She shook her head clearly not understanding.

Later that night I sat alone on DeAndre's porch step trying to figure out what and who I want. I rubbed my stomach knowing for sure that this child is the only good thing in my life. I keep thinking about all of the things and experiences I'm going to miss out on because I'm too busy being a mom. But I know for sure that I'm going to be a good one.

DeAndre walked up behind me as smoking a cigarette.

"Do you like him?" He asked as sitting next to me on the step.

"Like who?" I asked.

"Carlos."

"Why?"

"I know you can do better than me Niyah. You're out of my league. I get it."

"That's not true DeAndre."

"Ain't that what everyone thinks?"

" I don't give a shit about what people think DeAndre. I love you." I replied as holding his face. I tried to kiss him but he pushed me away. I grew angry.

"I don't know what the fuck I can do to prove I love you DeAndre. I really don't." I said as standing up. I shrugged. "If you don't know that I love you and only you by now then that's not my fault... It's yours."

He nodded agreeing.

"I know" he whispered as lowering his head.

"Talk to me. Just tell me what's going on in your head." I said as looking up at him. He remained silent. He then stood up and walked back into the house slamming the door behind him.

I then received a call from Carlos.