Mixed Girl Problems

M I S S

I laid next to DeAndre feeling so confused and misunderstood. I knew that I loved DeAndre but I'm starting to feel like I'm not in love with him. All the little mind games he likes to play im tempted to play them also.

I've grown suspicious of him and I've been checking his phone almost every night. And every time I check I find him flirting with a new girl, but he knows that I know about them. Every time he changes his password I'm the first and only person he tells.  It's almost like he wants me to see these messages and wants to get caught. Or... The obvious... He's just a lazy careless cheater.

As I stared at DeAndre I kept seeing Carlos's face. I quickly sat up yanking the blankets off of myself. I looked out the window as I felt DeAndre wrap his arms around my waist. I looked back at him smiling. I turned him on his back and then began to kiss his neck. He stopped me and looked up at me smiling.

" You know I love you right?" He said as looking up with me.

" Sure." I replied as my voice broke.

"You don't sound sure." He said as sitting up. " And when you say sure you don't mean it. Sure is a yes-ish."

"I do." I said as getting up.

"Do what?"

"Love you."

"I love you too.. If you ever cheat on me ima shoot you." He said making me laugh.

"Ok DeAndre" I replied as laughing.

He pulled me on the bed kissing me deeply.

"You're my everything, my best friend, my wife. I know I may not act like it sometimes but it's true babe. I'm riding with you until the wheels fall off." He said making me blush, holding me tightly.

I hugged him tightly and kissed him deeply.

"I know.. I'm popping." I replied laughing. He began to tickle me causing me to laugh loudly.

I laid next to him looking him in the eyes.

Even though he can be a dick head sometimes he's still my baby. He's just young and misunderstood. He's trying so hard to be somebody he's not; he's not a hood nigga like he pretends to be. He's young and misguided, I want to be the one to guide him and support him through his struggle.

Just because a relationship gets hard and tough doesn't mean I should run and automatically move onto the next. I'm tired of running and giving up so easily on my relationships. I finally found someone worth sticking around for and yes it gets hectic and easy to second guess but at the end of the day I love his boy. And this love for him is going to keep me driven and determined to make us work. If that makes me stupid then shit I'll be stupid