Mixed Girl Problems

G I R L T A L K

The type of rage boiling inside of me is un-explainable. A part of me blames myself for being so oblivious to the fact that this has happened before. He's done this time and time again and I continuously forgave him. So in his head, why not just do what he pleases its not like he'll get in trouble for it, right? On the other hand, we've built a relationship, a partnership, and a union of two people who are supposed to be in love. I'm also pregnant, how could he do this to us and to our family? I think I've asked that question before.

I walked into the living room setting DeAndre's phone down in his hand.

"What's up with this?" I asked. He rolled his eyes letting out a sigh.

"I meant as a friend, Niiyah." He replied.

"Bullshit!"

"You tripping! Always trying to make shit more than what it is!"

"I'm tripping?! Stop always trying to make it seem like I'm some jealous crazy ass bitch DeAndre! We both fucking know what these text messages are about! And they're about nothing less!"

"Yoooo shut the fuck up! You don't know what you talking about! You really are crazy yo." He yelled angrily.

"You know what, DeAndre? we both know what those text are about. Just keep it real with me, be honest don't make up no bullshit ass lies and try to make it seem like I'm the fuck crazy when we both know I'm right." I replied before walking away with tears running down my face.

Maybe I am crazy and overreacting, but I know deep down inside I want that to be the case. I want to be wrong about him and this girl, but I know that I'm right. When I get this feeling, I don't continue to question it once I have the evidence.

And you know what? I'm fucking tired, scratch that. I'm FUCKING EXHAUSTED. What's the point in trying over and over again with the same person just to end up with the same outcome. I can't comprehend how someone can be so blind to the fact that they have a woman that loves them. Not a little girl whose out here in these streets spreading they legs every which way, disrespecting him and making him look flat out stupid like whoever this girl Ellie is going to. I've been here for him in more ways than fucking one, carry his child and hold all 3 of us up some how, but who cares about that when you can just throw it all away on some slut named Ellie?

I looked over at Persuasion and she smiled in a concerning way.

"You sure you're okay?" She asked as I took another spoonful of cookie dough ice cream and stuffed it in my mouth.

"Yeah, I'm good." I replied as wiping a tear. "The other day we got into this big ass argument and guess what this nigga said?"

"What'd he say?"

" That me and him don't have to be together in order for him to raise his child. He looked me up and down and called me a fat bitch." I broke down crying again, Persuasion took me in her arms for comfort. "It's like his feelings are just shut off like he just flipped a switch."

"DeAndre is just a nut ass nigga I told you this from the jump Ni!" Persuasion replied.

"I don't wanna hear that you were right Persuasion! I wanna hear the truth! Did I do something wrong? Did I just make our relationship bad, was it all because of me?"

"Why would you think that? You aint do shit to deserve any of this Niiyah."

I nodded as she wiped the tears from off of my cheek.

"At least the sex was good." I replied as pouting.

"Would you ladies like anything else?" Our waitress, Lee asked.

"Another cookie dough sundae please." I said as handing her another tip. "I want some weeeeeed!"

"Well you know you can't smoke, I don't want you harming my niece or nephew."

"Not in a million years." I replied as smiling with my head resting in my hand.

Even if me and DeAndre are broken up and not speaking no matter how much I love him my child will always come first, that's the one thing I'm sure about right now.