All of my 5sos work

Alive, just

Water. Lots and lots of water. My lungs struggled to cope with the amount I was taking in and coughing back as I spluttered and struggled for a mere breath. I knew what was happening, I knew this was it. My end was nigh and there was little I could do now, it was happening all too fast with little done. 

A sunset too irresistible to not swim in, I just picked up my board and headed out, unaware of the clouds forming over the pastel skies above. I texted them, they know I went for a surf, at least someone will know why I don't come home- my dear parents, I'm sorry. 

The drag on my legs increased and began to spread through to my waist, my limbs weakening as I tried so hard to fight it. My eyes stung like my throat burnt, the ability to fight it all was becoming too much for me to hold up. 

So, with nothing else to do I just 

let go. 

I was forced under, the foam lapping over each wave that passed me by as I drifted further and further away from the surface. My hand floated in front of my eyes, the fear vanished as I saw the light becoming fainter, the urge to just sleep now calmly calling my name. 

The cries stopped, the fight had ended. My list of apologises had been finished. 

*

"Oh please don't be dead. You can't die. Come on. Breathe God Damnit!" A voice shouted in the distance but I felt trapped, the need for the urgency in his tone seemed unnecessary. I knew the voice, part of me wanted to recognise it but it all happened too fast. 

The darkness began to lift, I could see the surface of the water and swam with all my might towards it. My arm now outstretched, fingertips touching the surface until I could feel the air against them. Freedom. 

Forcing my head up out I inhaled deeply, before coughing violently and throwing water up. Taking in my surroundings I wasn't in the water, I was on the sand, practically covered in it making my skin feel rough, as opposed to silk like in the water. A loud sigh of relief came from someone above me as I rested my hands on the ground and remained breathing heavily. 

It felt as if there wasn't enough oxygen to fit in my lungs, the need for air all too dire for it to be in a short supply. "Well, at least you're alive." A light laugh came from the blurred figure above as I slowly moved to face him, wiping my eyes with the itchy dry sand rubbing against the delicate skin. "Oh here," Soft warm fabric was wrapped around my shoulders, his face within a close distance to mine. 

Using the towel my vision cleared, blinking a few times his face was in perfect focus and he smiled my way, attempting to conceal his eyes resembling the waves in early hours of the morning, full of concern. "What?" I struggled to speak as my throat was raw, the dry texture that couldn't get smooth even after swallowing what felt like half of the ocean in the moment. 

"You were drowning, well drowned." He explained and a shiver went through me. I drowned. It did happen. Did anyone know? Maybe they'll never know. "I saw something in the water, you were still attached to your board so I was able to find you and bring you back to shore." Moving his slightly damp blonde curls out of his face as he crossed his legs, sitting opposite me but still observing me closely. 

Realising words were failing me I began to write in the sand, spelling out a few words in hope he'd respond. 'I died.' No question mark as I knew it, I didn't dream it. All went black and all hope was lost, but in the last moment of consciousness none of it mattered. A state of euphoria I could never relive. 

All he did was nod in response, clearly unsure whether to apologise or move on from my statement. Lowering my head I wanted to cry, I needed to relieve myself from the weight that was pressing on my chest. Yet, nothing. No tears. Just ugly whimpers. 

"It's hard right. But you've got to think you were one of the lucky ones. So many people don't get found, you get to go home to your family and friends." His hand was on my shoulder as I remained emotionless, merely staring at my words written in the sand, the what ifs of the event replaying in my mind- none having a happy ending. 

'It hurts.' I write down and sigh, glancing up I see the sympathy heavy in his eyes. Standing up he helps me to my feet, weak and unable to function he offers to carry me. It feels as if I'm Ariel when she first gets legs, unable to control them and falls into Prince Eric. Except I doubt this is my Prince Eric, more likely to be my Sebastian- a mere helper. 

"I'm going to take you to the hospital, your bag is with me don't worry. When we get there you can phone your parents, that okay?" He spoke with such care, something I wasn't used to. Sure, I'd met people who laughed, acted like they would look after me but as always their promises fell short. 

Arriving at the hospital they approached us quickly, the girl who drowned, blacked out and was now being carried away. I was asked about details, yet everything was blurry. With every question I'd answer with the shake of my head, never a nod. 

"Sweetheart we need to know your name. Can you tell us?" The Nurse asked as she placed her hand on mine, multiple blankets had been wrapped around me along with a large cup of water I knew I needed but feared at the same time. 

I tried. I tried so hard to remember the most simple detail about who I am, my name. My name is meant to be my identity, tell me who I am. Yet I had nothing. All I could go back to was blurs, flash moments of memories rather than everything I should remember. "I'm, I- I can't." My voice remained hoarse and she lowered her head, removed her hand from mine and walked away silently. 

Amnesia. I heard the nurse mutter outside of my room to him, to the one who looked after me. He walked in with a small smile well worn on his face, as if he'd done this too often. "Hi." Hovering by my bed I pulled the blankets around myself leaving a space on the end of my bed for him to sit on. 

Accepting my offer he sat opposite me and something wanted to work in my mind, a memory wanting to force itself to the surface as I looked at his eyes. "I, I" Coughing I heard raspy breath follow and I refilled my lungs with oxygen before trying to continue. "know you?" His eyes widened along with his smile, nodding to me with such joy. 

He nudged closer to me and his hands reaching out towards mine, yet I retracted mine, not yet sure. "It's Luke, Y/n." Two names I'd never been familiar with, or have I? 

Luke, it fitted him, I could see it working for him unlike anything I would've come up for him to pass the time. But Y/n, it didn't seem right by any means. I could hear someone calling it to me, closing my eyes I no longer saw darkness, instead patches of light. 

"Come on Y/n, we've got to get there before the sun rises!" It was him, it was Luke. He was wearing a wetsuit and carrying his board with him as he headed towards the beach, laughing and smiling in my direction as I followed him. 

Opening my eyes suddenly I looked to him with less a less foggy perception of who he was. "Surfing?" The few words I could get out seemed to ease him. 

"We always surf together, every other day." I nodded in response, trying to think back to it all but it all remains hazy. 

"I, I can't think straight." Clutching my head I wanted to remember, the vague feeling of euphoria was no longer craved. Instead all I wanted, needed was to remember Luke, remember our memories together. 

All I wanted was to not let go again.