Four years.
To some four years may seem like nothing, that four years is a very small amount of time and can be viewed as insignificant in our entire lives. Whereas others believe that four years are very important, a child's first four years are the most important ones, a lot can happen in four years which can change everything. If you can guess from my analogy there, four years can be questionable in itself. But when you put it into the context of my boyfriend being four years older than I am, well things sky rocket to a new depth of controversy.
For just over a year now I've been dating Calum, everyone who knows us believe we are wonderful together despite the age gap between us and it can upset me knowing the media only focuses on our age as opposed to the two of us in love. Beyoncé and Jay-Z aren't close in age, so why does four years have such a dramatic effect now?
School can be difficult to deal with, some harass me about it, how he is only using me or I am using him for the fame. Others don't mention it but my friends talk about him like I would with their boyfriends/girlfriends, as if they were just any other human, to which Calum actually is. It wasn't much longer now until I could leave, finish school and just do something else, start somewhere new away from this school, go to a college or some other school instead. All I had to do was complete my exams, which were easier said than done.
As I sat against my desk trying to figure out this maths equation my mind went blank, I thought to myself I was worthy of a break, even if it were ten minutes would rather listen to a documentary about snails than do another equation as my brain had officially been fried. I went downstairs to find my phone, one of my study rules was to have my phone out of sight and out of mind, that way I couldn't get easily distracted or end up procrastinating like I usually do.
Before I unlocked my phone I could already see unpleasantries like there sometimes were, being Calums girlfriend has its benefits, like being with him when we could and enjoying those treasured moments but its downsides included the hate. Everyone gets hate, whether it be cryptic or in your face, harsh comments are something I've had to get used to from jealous fans, I ended up making all of my accounts private just to escape most of it but that doesn't mean it's all hidden from my view.
I scrolled through all of the mentions, trying to block them out but some of them do stick with you, they can play over in your mind when you feel low or sometimes even when you're happy. It's a side effect.
"Why does he even like her? I mean look at him, then her."
There's always various ones like that, they stick with me, make me feel worthless and doubt myself. I closed twitter and went to text Cal instead, knowing it would cheer me up a bit at least.
- Hi x
Once I had sent it there was a long wait for him to respond, I placed my phone back down and decided to make something to eat instead, but then my phone began to ring and as I rushed over it was Cal.
"Tweets getting to you again?" He asked and I let out a sigh.
Playing with my food as I hesitated to reply, "How could you tell?" I asked him as I sat down in the living room, bringing my legs to my chest.
"You never say hi unless something is up, I know that for a fact." He stated and I felt sad knowing it has happened countless times that he knew now when I was upset about it all. "Please, don't let this get to you, we've been over this." He tried to cheer me up but I felt the lump forming in my throat.
"I can't help it, sometimes I just think and overthink everything." I lower my head into my chest, resting my chin against my knees.
"About us?" He suggested and I nodded to myself, I heard a sigh on the other end, probably due to my long pause. "Look, Y/n you know how much I love you, and right now I wish I could be with you to hold you close or help you study cause I know what you're capable of. You are capable of so much if you just focus, don't let all of those fans get to you, they just can't see what I see. I don't see your age written across you, I see you. To me, age is irrelevant, if you love someone and they love you back then I don't see how that is wrong." I dried my eyes as he finished, instantly feeling better, "Except if it's incest, then that's a no no." I burst out laughing and heard him join in, "There it is, my favourite laugh, at least I'll sleep easy tonight."
"I love you too Cal. I'll talk to you soon since my maths revision is calling my name." I joked to him, we briefly chatted before agreeing to talk later before his show and with that I returned to the familiar silence of the day time, heading back upstairs with my food and sitting back down with my work.
Four years, who really cares?
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All of my 5sos work
Fanfictioneverything I ever wrote that is to do with 5 seconds of summer, all of this can be found on my tumblr account (same name) but I thought it might be worth putting it here as well. there are over 100 pieces all together, some are series' and I will s...