All of my 5sos work

When Things Fell Apart: VI

Unsure what to do I remained close to the door holding onto it restricting his view of my place. Even though he's been here on different occasions, many occasions it isn't the place he once knew, much like me now; my place and I have changed, whether for better or worse I'm unsure but it isn't something I'm willing to share, not with him anymore. 

No matter how much I tried to avoid eye contact I could feel his eyes burning into me, checking every aspect of me like a mother would do if her child fell on the pavement, wanting to make sure there is no physical damages but he shouldn't worry, the scars are in my mind. "What are you doing here Ash?" Breaking the silence and his trance he flinched as I adjusted my stance, even in thick fluffy socks I could feel the chill of the hallways that remained empty, ominous. 

His eyes wandered from the chipped door frame to the holes in my leggings up to the mess on top of my head and back to my eyes, how my eyebrow remained raised in suspicion. "I, er," Words fumbled over his tongue as I impatiently awaited a response. "was in the area." It sounded as if he were trying to convince himself more than me, following his answer with a small nod as his eyes now locked with mine. 

"So, you just happen to be here?" Motioning to where we were I could see a small amount of redness crossing his cheeks and spreading to his nose, "About seven miles out of the city and in a completely different country?" I couldn't hold back the dry laugh and rub my face in my hands, shaking my head about this entire thing. "Of course you are, I mean why wouldn't you be eh?" Now I felt my temper rising, my control over my emotions loosening as I turned around and went to close the door with some force. 

Just as it went to slam the noise didn't follow as expected, I didn't jump in shock but instead heard a small whimper. Glancing down to the foot of the doorway was a large scuffed boot, one that obviously isn't as sturdy as it first appears. Rolling my eyes I go back to the door, opening it seeing his lips sealed tight and a flicker of pain in those eyes. "Ten minutes?" He raised his voice, "Ten minutes and then you can kick me out and I'll go." Fixating on the dry umbrella by the table next to the door I sighed and backed up, allowing him to enter. 

He briefly mumbled a thank you before walking into the open, cluttered space. As I headed towards the kitchen his footsteps from those heavy boots couldn't be heard from behind me, turning around he wasn't in sight. Approaching the entrance he stood still, his eyes wide with curiosity as he focused on the shelf that was one filled with photographs. "You got rid of the tour photos?" Detecting my presence I moved closer to him, seeing up close the empathy he wore, turning the soft hazel in his iris' hard. 

"The pain was unbearable." I stated before moving away from the shelf, trying not to see the pictures that were once there knowing they are hidden under my bed in a large box. The box I try not to grab ahold of at 5 in the morning and see droplets of water fall against the glass, seeping into the memories tainting them permanently. "Coffee?" His footsteps approached as he took a seat on the small armchair that was free of rubbish: magazines that I don't read, books I started but never finished or empty boxes of tissues- not even the hidden bottles that lack substance. 

Hearing the kettle boil I snap out of my thoughts and pour the clear liquid into the dirt, combining the unlikely match to make something tasteful yet so bitter. Walking over to him I take a seat on the larger sofa, curling up into myself like I had become accustomed to as there was no one else to keep me warm, it was something I became dependant on without realising. "Ten minutes?" He spoke up as I took a sip of my drink, feeling a burn cross my lips I pulled the cup away, nodding in response. 

I shifted in my seat as I saw him place his mug down, something I had learnt meant he had a story to tell. The days of being in the dressing room before a show, how much water they went through but he always placed it down before giving some sort of motivational speech about how well the show would go. His wise words would almost be muted to me whilst I sat with Luke holding his arms in mine as I kissed his fingers before the blisters would reappear. He leaned back into his chair, resting his head in his hand and just looking at me, not at my appearance but at me.