All of my 5sos work

Preference #35: So you're telling me that you're dead?

Walking inside the room I swallowed the hesitation in my throat, I had to be strong for him. There he was, lying down with various tubes and wires attached to him, too many for me to count. As I neared Luke stood up, red faced with a stitch above his left eyebrow. He lowered his head, ashamed of how this happened. "I, I I'm so sorry." His voice was shaky and cracked halfway, unable to finish whatever he mentally had prepared. 

I sat down next to him and hugged him, if anyone needed to it would be his best friend. The two of us remained quiet for a while, all we were doing is listening to Calum's monitor beeping, the consistent beeping to indicate he was okay. As my eyes observed each tube and where it led a shiver went down my spine and I shifted in the uncomfortable chair. "How much pain do you think he's in?" I thought aloud and turned to Luke who wore pain heavy in his eyes. 

"I don't think we'll ever understand the agony he's in." Luke kept his head low, I could see the throbbing from his forehead. Although it was a small stitch it seemed painless compared to the contorted look Calum wore as he remained unconscious. 

The more I focused on Calum's expression the more I missed the light in his eyes, the joy in his smile and the energy he provided constantly to our lives. Unknowingly tears fell from my eyes, I struggled to hold the whimper in that followed as I forcefully wiped my face. As my lip quivered Luke held me close and I buried my face in his chest, the weight on my chest only grew as I intently thought about how much pressure is on Calum right now from all of us. 

Luke told me how his sister had been but I'd missed them. I hadn't seen the guys for a while, last time I saw Calum I was holding back the fact that I loved him more than a best friend, Luke was the only one I confided in. "You know, they say it helps to talk to a coma patient." He suggested as I lifted my head up. Smiling suggestively to me I chuckled lightly as he wiped away the remainder of my tears from my face. 

Standing up he walked out and gave me a thumbs up. Now the two of us remained sat here, I moved along to the chair Luke was sat in, it was warmer and more comfortable compared to the one I was previously perched on. Hesitantly I held his hand, trying my hardest not to get tangled in the tubes and patches that bruised his skin. "Hi Calum." I muttered, unsure where to even begin. "When I said see you soon this, this isn't what I had in mind." Glancing around the room there were cards and flowers, some already dying despite the short amount of time he'd been in here. 

Focusing on him was hard, all I wanted him to do was open his eyes and smile, say my name and then this harsh reality would melt away. But no, you don't always get that lucky. "There was something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time now, I just never found the right time to tell you." Trying to control my breathing the words lingered in my throat, continued to get caught up in my tongue as I held my mouth ajar. "I love you." Once they were out I could visualise them in front of me, floating around the two of us unable to be taken back or reframed. 

A weight felt as if it were being lifted from my chest, not in its entirety but partially. Standing up I could see the top of Luke's head and nearing the entrance to the room I glanced back one last time. I swear I saw a hint of a smile on his face, but blamed it on the tears brimming my eyes. 

Nodding to Luke I walked away, unsure what else I could do. 

*

Running, out of breath I passed various faces that began to blur together. Various accusations were yelled my way as I muttered apologies, unable to pause and have a mere argument. My mind was racing as I got to the reception of the hospital, huffing and my eyes wide the nurse gave me a funny look. "Calum Hood." I sighed with exhaustion as she searched through the system momentarily before directing me to his room. 

As I neared the room I slowed down, unsure what my reaction will be to see him now awake. Still weak, but awake. Standing in the doorway Luke stood over his bed with his back turned to me. Laughter filled my ears and a smile spread across my face, how much I've missed that laugh. "Glad someone's alive." I spoke up and Luke turned around then proceeded to walk towards me and held me in a tight embrace. 

"What about me I'm the one who just woke up?" Calum huffed making me laugh lightly as I quickly walked towards him and carefully hugged him, not wanting to let go. 

Standing back there were a lot less tubes and wires in him. Bruising was more evident along with the stitches in his arm and those attempted to be hidden under his gown. A weak smile was full heartedly worn on his face as I sat down next to him on a chair, despite him patting the bed for me to join him.  "How does it feel to be awake?" I asked as I held his hand in mine, unaware of how it may look to Luke who raised an eyebrow to me. 

Calum didn't respond as he glanced over to Luke who called my name. "Can we talk a second?" Cautiously I nodded and walked outside with him, remaining uneasily quiet. "There was something about the accident that I didn't tell you." Twiddling his thumbs my eyes hardened. 

"Tell me what Luke?" I spoke through clenched teeth. 

"Before you got here, after the accident his heart stopped." I froze, it felt as if my own heart was going stop as it sunk so far into my own body. My mind came to a halt from the busy thoughts that swirled like a whirlpool. "They brought him back but it's something that wasn't easy for him to hear." Lowering my head I covered my face with my hands, I didn't want Calum to see my cry. 

Luke wrapped his arms around me as I tried to collect myself back together again, sighing I nodded in his chest allowing him to release me. "I told him, just like you said." Wiping away my tears yet again I just laughed, unsure what else I could do. 

"About time too. Just go back in there, who knows maybe he heard you." Shrugging my shoulders I wandered back in, Calum wore concern too easily. 

Sitting back down next to him he placed his hand on top of mine immediately. "Sorry I didn't tell you myself, it's not the easiest thing to tell someone." He sighed and all I could do was remain quiet. 

"So you're telling me you're dead or you're alive? Because if you're a ghost that's cool, or a zombie but please don't eat me." I rambled on and joked resulting in an angelic giggle to fill the room, easing the tension that remained in the beeping of his machine. 

"I'm saying that I'm sorry, and no, I would never eat your brains. I care about you too much." A jump in his heart rate on the monitor caused me to turn away from him but silently I knew why. 

"Did you, could you hear anything whilst you were in the coma?" Subconsciously I wished he could, but part of me wanted him to say no so I could ignore these feelings a bit longer. 

All he did was nod and now my heart was racing. "There are so many things I love about you, you know that right?" He slowly lifted his hand to my cheek, stroking it lightly. 

Resting into his hand I smiled, "I love you Cal." 

"And I you."