All of my 5sos work

Land Of Isolation

About a girl who died and wants to live with a boy who awaits death but lives.

They say the day you die can either be the calmest or most haunting day you have ever had. What they don't account for is how calm it may be for you but haunting it is for those you leave behind, those family members who still can't speak of you without breaking down, or how your room remains untouched collecting dust as if they wish to preserve your memory or are awaiting your return. The thing they don't ever tell you about is what happens next, the bit that occurs after you die; the bit where you're supposed to 'move on' and see this bright light or rot in the ground. With this bit I've learnt it differs to everyone, some people are known to have gone to a better place whilst others remain dormant in the ground we walk on. But there are a few of us who have an alternative state; the ghosts. 

Now I know what you might be thinking, a ghost? How typical. Yet no one seems to understand, we are like mermaids in some aspects, just go with my analogy for now. Us ghosts have been around for centuries, yet we remain unknown to the human world but that doesn't mean legends and myths aren't created. Books, TV shows, films and documentaries are influenced by us in both good and bad aspects. Mermaids can be portrayed as beautiful caring creatures in some lights, but then they can be flipped and seen as demonic, craving the deaths of those at sea or jealous creatures. We ghosts are similar, we can be seen as sorrowful for wondering the Earth alone for eternity, or seen as good things to help those we love without them knowing. But it is the hatred and idea we are sinister, immoral and foul beings that want and will cause mass destruction and need to be rid of like vermin that sticks to peoples minds when they think of ghosts. That, and someone with a white sheet over their bodies. 

I've learnt about the experiences and reactions people have when they become a ghost, and trust me some of them are interesting. One thing about being a ghost is haunting, the fact that we are unsure why we are still here, why we haven't passed over. Some believe it is because we have a mission, some form of unfinished business to attend to. Unless my unfinished business involves watching Sherlock until it finishes it looks like I'll be here for the rest of the century. It's hard to explain this, being what I am. I feel real, I look like everyone around me except I'm invisible, I'm dead. When I look at my reflection I still see me, the person I was before I died, yet I'm not who I was as everything's changed. No one can feel me, they can't hear me or know of me now, I am isolated for eternity in search of my unfinished business.  

My family took it horrifically, when they found out what happened that is. I watched them through the window, not wanting to go inside and smell my mums cooking and be reminded of the things I can no longer have. Seeing them perched on the edges of their seats, my mum gripping onto my dad as the news ran through all of those stories, all the terror in the world and they waited through it all. My brother hovered by the doorway, half looking at the screen but listening instead. As I watched them waiting I wanted to cry, cry about how much I will miss them, miss the life I was supposed to lead. Now I won't be able to fall in love, have a career, get married and have a family of my own. When the sobs erupted in the room I walked away, not wanting to be left with that sound, the sound of desperation in my mother's cries, the cries for her baby to return.

For the first few months I was an emotionally unstable mess. I wanted to be back home, I wanted nothing more than my family to see me again and go back to how things should've been yet instead I wondered alone. After those months I shut my emotions off, not wanting to have to be anything anymore, I didn't want to be reminded of the pain and the urge to feel. My behaviour and attitude quickly developed, I began to become a stereotype and freak people out, I am not proud of what I did but at least no one died, I think. My next phase is the one I am stuck in, my emotions remain dormant but I want to feel something again, I want to find out my purpose and reason for still being here.