All of my 5sos work

Home Comforts

Breathing heavily I stumbled into the apartment, immediately locking the door behind me and taking a long shaky breath. My eyes darted around the hallway, how there was little light shining through the windows illuminating the dust that hung thick in the air and was visible on the floorboards. Slowly I traced the staircase, the soft fabric easing my skin as I tried to control my breathing and the intense beating of my heart as thoughts circulated my mind. 

Reaching the bedroom I flicked the light switch on, yet no one was there. I slumped down against the wall as the tears cascaded down my face causing what ever form of makeup I made an effort with this morning to melt away with the saltiness of my tears. The bitterness that they fell with my tears as all the thoughts that I allowed to circulate in my mind all day have reached a breaking point, unable to be held back. 

I picked up my phone and through the blurred layer of my vision I made out my bright background, causing a small sad smile to form on my face. Blinking rapidly the tears fell revealing the picture clearly, the two of us laughing whole heartedly before he left for tour. Searching through my contacts I hesitated as I clicked on his number, unsure whether or not to disturb him. I could never remember exactly where he would be or the time difference between the two of us, it seemed weird thinking about him elsewhere at times but he was living his dream. 

The shakes in my fingertips hit the call button without me realising until I heard a faint hello on the other end. Bringing my legs close to my chest I rested my head on my knees and placed my phone to my ear. I attempted to bring a smile to my face, convince myself that I was happy, just for him. "Hi." It sounded fake, an over exaggerated tone of happiness, sickly sweet. 

A drawn out silence followed until I could no longer hold the lump in my throat. He muttered my name in a serious but loving tone and I broke down. "Hey, hey tell me what's wrong. Something happen today?" Somehow he always found time to listen, even now I could hear the tiredness etched in his words. How his eyes are probably laced with sleep whilst the others had retired for the night, I was a disturbance. 

"Bad thoughts." He understood what I meant. There was no need for me to expand on bad thoughts as he experienced it too, the constant stream of negativity over positivity that overwhelmed me on social media and all I am doing is being me. 

Movement could be heard and a light thud followed with a hushed apology. "I'll go to the back of the bus hold on." I felt like I had been paused, stuck. All I could do was stare at the framed photo of the five of us and the genuine smiles we all wore, the feeling that lingers around that photo is unchangeable. "Still there?" Blinking I was brought back to the phone call, mumbling a response as the tears stopped falling I heard a light strum of his acoustic guitar. "I know I can't be with you now but you deserve a comfort. To me hearing your voice is the comfort I need, we'll always be there for each other. Know that." I promised in response as he began to play his guitar, strumming it lightly as he sang along to the tune. 

Closing my eyes as the song played I pictured the two of us sat in the back garden on a summer's evening as he played the guitar. Everything would melt away at the sound of him singing, sometimes I'd dance and make him laugh. Everything was easier when we were together. "Thank you Luke." I spoke with more confidence as I felt it disappear, the weight and tension that clung to my chest had loosened. The tight grip around my head was gone, or for now had eased. 

A gentle yawn came out of my mouth as I stood up in the dark room, even now it felt like he was here with me despite being on the other side of the world. "Do you want me to stay with you until you sleep?" He asked, as I slowly got into the fresh sheets everything felt easier, there was so much calmness around me even without him next to me. 

Glancing over to the empty side of the bed I heard him call my name, "Could you?" I asked feeling as if I were a nuisance, but he never said I was. He always told me how he treasured me, my flaws, my weird sense of humour and everything in between. 

He picked his guitar back up and starting strumming the tune that I first fell in love with, "She sleeps alone, my heart wants to come home. I wish I was, I wish I was, beside you."