When you drown, you keep your mouth closed for the duration of it. You panic, you squirm and try to fight your way back to the surface with little energy you have left but at that point where your body is defeated by 70% of itself that is when you open your mouth and let the water in. At that moment you truly drown. How do I know all of this? Because I see it happen everyday, from those confident surfers who think they can take it or those innocent children who got swept out. The cases varied and sometimes I wasn't fast enough to help them, unlike others who watched without assisting me and let them drown.
See that's the thing about my kind, many of us are unapproachable and wish to have no connections to these humans but I'm different from them. How people swim and splay their legs in the water, making such a noise and mess with the waves which irritates others unlike me. When I see them it makes me laugh, how hard they learn with the children and when they manage to the joy they have, this is the side I like. The compassion they have. How the children have to try so hard to use their limbs in the water when to me it is something so effortless.
It had been three days since the toddler had drowned. I was in a cave at the time, minding my own business. Usually we can detect a change in the water, it's like a sixth sense where we distinguish the fear, we can recognise or feel the struggle. But I wasn't in the water, curiosity got the better of me that day, none of the others told me it had happened. It was only when I found the toddler on the sea bed that I knew it was all too late, so I did what I thought best; I swam with the lifeless body in my arms and placed it near shore. From afar I saw people with quiet flames on the beach, it must've been some form of a memorial that they have, so I sat and watched, wanting to pay my respects before the others knew I was gone.
Some of them think that I'm too soft, that I care far too much for these people. But if no one cared for anyone of any species, we'd all end up dead. Living in the ocean has perks, one being that no one can see you cry over the people you couldn't save, the ones that they would smirk or joke about as I swam away to my cave, just wanting solitude.
That was when I met him. I was sat in the cave leaning against a dip in the rock that formed a long seat. There was enough room for me to bring my tail up and let it dry, allow me to examine my legs for this little time I had to myself. Initially it was thought to be a myth, that when we let our tails dry we would receive legs, that they were a gift from Poseidon to let us explore outside of the sea. I only came here to find peace, now I came here to try out legs, get used to walking on them so if I ever got enough courage to go to land then I could blend in, be a literal fish out of water.
"Hello." Even now I could remember his voice as clear as the ocean that surrounded me. He had confidence about him, as he came into the cave, I curled myself up that time, bringing these legs close to my chest in attempt to hide knowing the water would do no good at concealing me. That and I wanted to know more.
All the humans I had seen before that point were close to death, unconscious or delirious. But he had his wits about him, he knew what he was saying and how he was acting. I tried to stand up at that point, stand being a loose term as I wobbled and shrieked, that was the first time I saw his face. He quickly paddled towards me, wanting to ensure I was alright as the storm approached. That day the clouds formed and turned dark, we could feel the waves changing, becoming more vicious as the rain fell, causing the ocean to be invaded by the sky, hence why I came to my cave, to get away from it.
His eyes were hazel, they were a mixture of browns and vivid greens I saw in the corals in the ocean, they held surprise and wonder, he wanted to know more but I could see care in them more than anything. The hair on his head was damp, the dark blonde curls were clinging to his forehead but the top layer was dry, had some life to them life the anemone. His mouth remained parted as he paddled into my direction, I sat back down and tried to curl by body back up, hide in the small shadow that casted over me.
"Hello? Are you alright?" His tone was concerned, that as the thunder erupted he became more needy, wanting to ensure someone wasn't hurt. But at that point I didn't know how to address a human with the same level of compassion, I had only talked to my own kind with a level of wit about me, but he wasn't my kind, he was different.
I remember I hesitated as I wanted to speak, part of me thought it could be a good idea to come out of the shadows, but the other half of me knew he would want to help. If he wanted to help me I would've exposed my kind to a stranger who was just trying to help. "I'm fine, just leave." I was blunt, I didn't have much care in my voice like I normally would've had. My caring nature came out to those who were injured, on those occasions I wanted to be the voice that soothed people, let them know things would be alright in a short amount of time.
"I must insist I help you, there's a storm coming, we've got to leave." He remained persistent as he tried to find me, he looked about whilst remaining on his board, at some points he did see me, only he didn't realise.
A strange feeling occurred in my stomach when his eyes wondered over me unintentionally, that I wanted to see him close up, I wanted to know more from the human who wanted to do good. "Trust me, I can manage myself." I scoffed to him, the wit coming to the surface as I pictured myself talking to one of my friends instead of him.
"We don't have much time, and I am not leaving this cave without you, I'll wait it out if I have to." That was when I felt a smile form on my face, someone was challenging me, having the same sort of attitude as I had. The sound of his paddling to the small rock area in the far side of the cave playing in my mind. I pictured his board being used as something to lean against. He brought his legs up to his chest that was covered in black material. "Guess we will wait this out then. Are you scared?" He asked but I wasn't sure how to respond, I knew I wasn't afraid, I was more so intrigued with him.
"No, I'm not easily scared. It's just I don't need help back to the shore." I let out a breath at that point, thinking how I should've worded it to make it sound like I were functioning, in a way I wouldn't give away my identity.
I remember how long the silence lasted after that moment, neither of us being the first one to speak up, ask questions. We both remained in some form of competition without realising it, we waited for the other to break first. The storm became louder and small waves rolled into the cave, at that point I brought my legs closer to my chest, not wanting to get wet and ruin the time I had. "I'm Ashton." A chill still goes up my spine when I think about that moment, the first time he told me his name. He was so quiet about it, as if he didn't want to disturb the storm outside.
"Y/n." I spoke up from my shadow and felt a blush form across my cheeks, something I learnt about when I was out of the water. That on a hot afternoon my cheeks heat up, and when he was around it kept happening, it remained a constant that I didn't understand. "So Ashton, what brings you out to the ocean?" My question plays over in my mind, I tried to sound calm, normal even as if I could blend in with him and his kind.
It took a while for him to reply that time, part of me got concerned that I annoyed him, but in fact it was the opposite. "The ocean is like a second home to me. I like swimming and seeing all the sea life, plus the hidden places like this. But the storm was coming and I heard singing in here and felt drawn to it." He explained and I thought back to my singing, how I was mumbling the words of my mother's lullaby to myself, regretting it once he mentioned it. "You have a beautiful voice Y/n." That sentence in particular was burned into my memory, since that was my first ever human compliment.
For a while I hummed to myself, unsure of how you should reply to a compliment, "That was sweet of you to say." I spoke up from my corner, an invisible smile forming on my face for him.
Even now when I think back to that short time I had with Ashton I treasured it, how persistent he was with me like no one else had ever been. Ashton wanted to know me, find out who I was even with the consequences that followed. He was the first human I loved.
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All of my 5sos work
Fanfictioneverything I ever wrote that is to do with 5 seconds of summer, all of this can be found on my tumblr account (same name) but I thought it might be worth putting it here as well. there are over 100 pieces all together, some are series' and I will s...