All of my 5sos work

How Times Have Changed: IV

My hands trembled as I held them down underneath my legs, trying to stop the insistent shakes but it was no use, I couldn't hide my nerves as I knew it was written across my face as people continued to pass me by.

He wasn't one of them.

Some wore sunglasses and in their reflections I saw my torn expression, I tried chewing my lip for a while as a distraction but it was no use, chewing gum failed as I saw all of the dried up pieces people had stuck to the tree, and then I went silent and listened to the breeze of wind that passed through the leaves. Only then I was able to feel partially relaxed. Waiting always felt painful, this wasn't like the anxious airport waiting time, or waiting in a queue at a shop where you know the result of the situation. Instead this was unknown to me, I tried to repeat my story the same way I told Luke earlier, how I worded it sensitively and took my time to get all I had to explain out without any hesitation. My mind drifted back to his upset expression, how he realised Cal had gotten it all wrong, that if he heard me out maybe he'd see the truth of the matter, see that I do love him.

"So, the old oak tree?" I stood up quickly and turned around, seeing him hanging around the other side of the large trunk with a worn half hearted smile on his face. Part of me sank when I got a closer look at his appearance, how broken he looked. His usual bright brown eyes that are full of life and dreams had become dark, hard and bloodshot. The brown tousled hair I used to dream about running my hands through became flat, a black beanie hanging off of the back of his head barely supported. I felt like he was the beanie in all of this, barely hanging on but tries to just to find out the truth, the truth he deserves to hear.

I shake the dirt off of my hands against my jeans before leaning against the rigid bark. "Well, I always came here when I was younger." I glance up at the branches, how they were always so difficult to reach and when I could fear would set in so I remained below it, sought it out as a happy place. I didn't explain this bit to him, there were more pending matters at hand to be dealt with. "I'm glad you came." I tried to move closer and reached my hand out slowly to his, crossing the curves in the bark but he hesitated, giving me a glint of hope but he pulled away, causing the small spark to be distinguished yet again.

"Just thought I should hear you out I guess." Even his tone was apprehensive and I began to recall how we left things last time, how he stormed out of the cafe before hearing three words that itched through me every time I saw him. But those words have to remain suppressed as I gulp them back down, 'now isn't the time' I mentally repeat, hoping it begins to be effective.

He moves around the tree and gets closer to me, it's a comfortable distance as we sit together leaning against the tree overlooking the park and how lively it is. For a while this is how we sit, in silence listening to the breeze pass through the leaves and branches, watching people pass by all with different stories. In my mind I make up stories about some of the people that go by, and somehow I start doing it aloud.

"See them?" I point to the couple up ahead by the lake who have a bunch of flowers and are very cosy together. "He messed up, missed her birthday so he got her some flowers to make up for it." The couple continue to walk further away until they're out of our sight. Looking over to Cal he seems as invested as me and keeps looking from all of the people surrounding us.

"Right," He points out the elderly pair sat on opposite ends of a bench, the woman is reading a book whilst the guy does a crossword on his own paper. "They are old friends, and they both went their separate ways but came home." He began and I was listening to him, imagining them both when they were younger, exploring or fighting in a war. "But things happened to them whilst they were gone, she fell in love and got married, whilst he thought about the girl he left at home all the time." Now my gaze had shifted from the pair and to Calum who refused to look at me. "They don't talk about it but they know how they feel, but they haven't been entirely honest with each other, hence why they act like strangers." He finishes and his gaze meets the grass at his feet.