All of my 5sos work

His Confession

Moving past the crowding people I try to stay calm, taking a steady breath with each step as I saw the garden insight. Fresh air, I kept telling myself, it'll do you some good. The pounding of the bass from the track more people kept knocking me, pulling me into dance along with them whilst they remained high on life, out of their senses. Yet for me that ended ten minutes ago when I realised where I was, what I saw and wished I never had bothered with this whole party. Trying to stay balanced I just needed to fill my lungs with the crisp Autumn air as opposed to filtered vapour that lingered in my hair and on my clothes. 

The calling of my name was continuous but I didn't want to turn around, I didn't want to have to look at him and find myself forgiving him. I had the words sorted, I was prepared to tell him how it is but I know if I turn at this moment and see him with those soft green eyes my mini speech will evaporate and I'll fall straight back into his arms. I could feel the prickling of a cool breeze wrap around my arms as the goose bumps formed, it seemed as if I had never breathed due to the gasping I found myself doing once my feet connected to the grass rather than the destroyed carpet, god, I'd hate to be here tomorrow morning. 

My feet they continued to move without my brain complying as the thoughts I had remained fogged, blocking everything else out. I was trying to focus on my breathing that kept getting hitched in my throat as I thought back to the scene that I witnessed. Collapsing onto the grass I had my back turned to the party, away from the sound and the images that remained prominent everytime I blinked. The dampness began to seep into my skirt yet I did nothing about it, instead I brought my knees close to my chest and rested my head against them, sighing I closed my eyes for just a minutes peace as a tear rolled down my cheek. 

I didn't even hear him join me, it wasn't until I heard him softly mutter my name that I was aware of his presence. Frantically I wiped my face and just blankly stared at him whilst he examined me with pure confusion. The overpowering reek of alcohol lingered on his breath as his eyes softened, the worry becoming clear in those warm orbs. "I won't ask if you're okay," He chuckled as he played with the half empty bottle in his fingers. "it's a stupid question considering you're clearly not." Part of me backed away due to the different tone he had taken, it was so unexpected from him but they do say what alcohol does to the system, it messes you about. 

Calum Hood, I've known him since we were young and he's a nice guy which no one can deny; but, he has always been pining over me. I'm not one and never have been someone who has favoured attention, yet he was persistent with asking me on dates or just happened to be out at the park when I was on dog walks. He couldn't be shunned down, his spirit remained uplifted even though I told him many times in the kindest way possible I was not interested yet I could never give one solid reason. 

Now he sits here and the awkwardness has faded from his physic, it's been awhile since I last saw him in person, it's been a long year. "So, you going to tell me what that meathead did or do I have to guess and act surprised when I get it right?" Sarcasm dripped from his words, coating the air heavily around us. 

Despite how heavy it initially seemed it was good, it was different from everyone else. Others would fake sympathise, they'd fuss then not give a second thought when we went home in the following hours. Except Calum, in this moment he was honest, the sort of honesty I needed to hear for once rather than being sheltered, no more secrets and no more lies. 

Knocking my head back I started to feel the pull of gravity on my body and didn't resist the urge to lie down, stare at the stars for a little while. "I went upstairs to use the loo and there he was, some girl all over him, calling him," For some reason as I thought of it it seemed hilarious, yet it was traumatising to witness, Calum nudged me to finish my sentence and covering my eyes it was more of a whisper. "daddy."