All of my 5sos work

Unknown

Nervous chatter collided with excited cheers as we neared tonight's venue. The guys passed me and went to the left window, each taking their turn to peep outside with wide eyes. "Is that the one?" I motioned to the large stadium with fans scattered around, the concert doesn't begin until tomorrow, how they do it I'll never understand. 

Moving away from the others Ashton came and sat next to me, placing his arm around my shoulder. Glancing up to him as I rested against his chest I could see the nerves settling in. His face seemed pale, less vibrant than it usually is. Green flecks in those iridescent hazel eyes dampened and were replaced with an unsettling feeling. 

The others sat along the sofa opposite us, no one really saying much. In the years I've known all of them I can pinpoint their actions when anxious, it's pretty obvious yet unrecognisable to each other. Calum would pick away at the chipped nail varnish that coated his stubby finger nails, leaving the flakes of black around the bus to be permanently embedded into the fibres. Whereas Mike wouldn't be able to stop his legs from shaking, he'd be a little bit more talkative than usual as if he had one too many cans of red bull and seem jittery; the others thought this was excitement. Then there was Luke, Luke being prone to quietness disappeared on his phone, what he got up to was still a mystery to me but I always assumed he'd talk to someone, perhaps his girlfriend or Mum. 

Ashton would sit with me, he'd facetime me, call me, message me. He would find some way of contacting me even if it meant talking to me whilst I was on the toilet, it didn't bother him. I'd sit with him, we'd talk about anything or sit in silence; just like we are right now. I played with his hand, following the veins leading towards his arms and aimlessly day dreamed. 

"Okay, we're here." Lifting my head up along with the others we slowly filed out of the bus. 

The gentle breeze was refreshing to say the least. It beat smelling various deodorants and aftershave or BO at times after days on the road. Feeling the wind through my hair and let it rise around my face I couldn't help but smile to myself, it wasn't the same as having the window open, here I was outside again rather than observing it from afar. "Hey," A cold hand linked into mine and I lifted my head up, squinting to make him out clearly as he blocked the sunlight out of my eyes. "so venue one." I could hear the apprehension in his voice as he struggled to get his words out coherently. 

"You know how good you'll be on the night." Giving his hand a squeeze I smiled to him encouragingly. "Plus, I get to witness the first sound check of the tour." He gave a light chuckle as we went through the back entrance and down the various corridors. 

Different tour members began to speak to the guys about the details regarding their instruments, the microphones, the layout of it all. The sort of things that I didn't need to be concerned with so I hung back and decided to have a wander of my own. 

Moving away from the conversations and noise I follow the signs leading towards the seating. I read each sign and obey the lines on the ground as if my life depended on it until I was in a large open space. Directly in front of me was the stage, the instruments and microphones displayed for all to see yet vacant of a musician. Glancing around at the space around me I see all of the empty seats backing high up into the arena, the floor space where I'm currently stood will be flooded with people of all kinds here with one purpose. 

I can't help but smile to myself at this thought, this place will be packed with people to see four guys perform their hearts out. "Okay, mic checks." Turning around Luke taps his mic whilst the others set up, Ashton takes his usual seat behind his drums as if nothing had changed. 

The sound check was going smoothly and I decided to sit down and admire them, whilst performing the graphics were tested along with the lighting. It felt as if I were witnessing a private concert except I blended into the invisible crowd, unknown to be here or exist. Closing my eyes I felt their words seep through my skin, the music they created made me feel like I was floating in this very moment and nothing else mattered besides being here. 

I was in the now, appreciating this moment that many could only dream of. It felt like a dream, I wonder if the dream will ever feel like it's fading. 

*

Laughing as we sat in bed watching the first tour video both of us couldn't help but point out clips that had remained prominent in our memories. Ranging from the moment they started their first show to messing around in arcades until the early hours of the morning, all of it was eventful and there was never a dull moment. 

Following the video we saw the tour photos that had been put together from the first couple of shows. As Ashton clicked through them I paused, "Wait a sec, go back to that one." I pointed to a few pictures above and he apprehensively clicked on it. 

As it came up onto the screen I had mixed emotions towards it, part of me felt in complete split shock and then worry. It was truly simplistic but beautiful. It was me in the soundcheck, sat on the floor with my arms resting on my knees and my head in my hands as they played their set. You couldn't see my face clearly as the photo was more focused on the guys rehearsing but there was some light shone on me. I let out a dry laugh as my breath remained hitched in my throat and I looked to Ashton for some form of response. 

Thing is, we aren't officially known by anyone besides the band, the crew and families, including our closest friends. We planned to keep it that way but on the plus side you can't see much of my face. "I'm not known known Ash, I doubt anyone is going to ID me here." I joke but he remains quiet, too quiet. 

"Someone would, but I think," He paused and I could feel his arm tensing up around me. Shifting I moved away to face him, sitting cross legged in front of him as he put the laptop to one side. "I think it's time everyone knows, I love you and everyone should at least be aware. You aren't someone I am ashamed to show, every day there are new things and ways about you that I admire." I feel the smile continuously growing on my face, so much so that my cheeks begin to hurt. 

He places his hand on my knee and his smile resembles mine. "Are you sure?" I didn't want to pressure him into this decision, the tour had only been happening for three months, it was early days for them. 

"We've been together for over a year now, I know we wanted to keep it low key but with touring it might be harder than before. You mean so much to me, I can't risk losing you." There was so much love in his eyes, I sighed and just nodded. 

"Okay," Lifting my head I focused on him again, "let's do it." Moving back next to him I rested my head against his shoulder as he pulled the laptop back and saw the numerous comments on the particular photo. 

As he finished typing it out he glanced to me to check it, nodding he clicked enter, sending the message out for all to see. Within minutes our phones were blowing up, "Guess this is when it all changes right?" I asked and he nodded. 

"Yeah, but at least I have you."