All of my 5sos work

Planned: V

It was as if my body was paralysed, my muscles would not move and my brain refused to communicate to my limbs or voice to make a human response. All whilst Michael stood awkwardly by the door, not moving but keeping his eyes on me as I blankly looked around, still lying flat on a small sofa. 

"Need some help there?" He spoke up trying to hold back a light laugh, inside I knew I was dying with a mixture of shame and giddiness but neither could be displayed on the surface.

Glancing around I shook my head in response, screaming inside for my body to cooperate now more than ever before. "I'm, I'm good." My words formed with little certainty as Michael stood his ground by the only exit. "So," I started as I ended up rolling off of the sofa in less than a flattering style, mentally swearing at myself for seeming like such a weirdo. "how can I help?" Positivity wasn't in my tone like I had hoped, instead I lacked enthusiasm entirely and was more erratic, a forced smile which I knew he could see right through. Damn those sea green eyes.

He took a few steps away from the door, enough for me to dart out without him having a chance to stop me, then again guards are probably outside or Gary meaning attempting escape is pointless.

Michael seemed more off than ever before, sure on our dates our conversations were minimalistic, filled with fake laughs and hand holding. But this seemed worse than those occasions as this wasn't a forced moment, I hadn't planned this to happen and guessing by his demeanour neither did he.

He fiddled with a guitar pick he held in his fingertips, now struggling to make eye contact with me as I stood before him, approximately ten steps away. Part of me wants to stand closer, see the way his hair clings to his forehead, how his broad arms feel, the look he holds in his eyes as his eyebrows remain furrowed and his soft lips plump but contorted in this moment, how he smelt after a show, how we'd joke due to his adrenaline. But no, it's only something I can vaguely imagine, it'll never be more than a fantasy.

"24th of August." He spoke up, lifting his head as he continued but not quite looking my way. "I was told by my manager that I needed to do something big. He told me I had to get a girlfriend but I couldn't have a real girlfriend, I'd have one chosen for me like I was some prized possession." He scoffed as I remained silent, unsure how to respond. "But they told me next to nothing about her, I was shown a picture of her on the 30th of August and told more about her, I knew she wasn't right. She wasn't the girl I wanted to spend all my time with whether it were real or fake."

My mind drifted back to September 2nd, how I got that phone call. I had to be filmed, I had to answer strange questions whilst they played my old singing videos. They were so precise in what they asked it never occurred to me that I meant something.

"They told me I was allowed to pick someone, I was given pictures with names and some background knowledge." It sounded weird to hear this aloud, how he was given the pick of the litter, chose who and what he wanted. "You have no idea how many pictures they fitted into a round table," he released a dry laugh as he moved, now nine steps between us. "yet there was something I wasn't seeing. I was missing something in each of these girls displayed before me." I now began to shift my weight from one leg to the other, wanting nothing more than to sit back down but not wanting to interrupt I remained relatively still. "One picture was hidden beneath another, I cleared way to reveal it and there she was. Someone else, someone different." I swear I saw a glimpse of a smile form when he finished, his eyes slowly met mine as my mind raced trying to piece it all together. "That was when I saw you Y/n."

At this point my heart could not comprehend what was happening. My eyes were fixated on his but I knew he wasn't done, he had more to say.

"September 7th, I was on the tour bus and I was told I'd see you in person, well over the Internet that is." A laugh escaped my lips as I thought back to it, how short notice and poorly planned the whole thing seemed, almost surreal. "You looked tired, I remember how there was a stain on your top and you had bed hair." My cheeks began to heat up at the thought of this, things overlooked as I rushed that morning to the point where caring was left behind at home. "But I liked it." My focus was now back on him as I struggled to hear him clearly, was my hearing alright, am I hearing him correctly? "I liked how real you were. That you were a bit awkward with me unlike others who borderline threw themselves at me. You were real. You are real."

Eight steps.

"Michael, I just-" I couldn't fathom words anymore over the sound of my heart beating and the sensation pounding up to my throat.

Seven steps.

"I saw the video." My heart froze, the beating came to a sudden halt as I thought of everything I said, the passion that laced my voice as I spoke with all of my heart. "Everything you said,"

Six steps. How green his eyes were, how stubble formed around his jawline, how he had stray hairs around his eyebrows I'd never paid attention to. All these little details I want to observe.

"Everything I said," I spoke up, finding my voice.

"Did you mean it?" His voice became sheepish, that shy side I had rarely seen that makes me giggle inside.

Five steps. "Every word." The tense atmosphere faded, my words didn't hang with awkwardness instead they floated around us as if they belonged.

That mysterious smile that he shone to me during his songs, during his performance tonight, when he said love is important, all of it. It's a look I never want to forget. "On our first date." He air quoted making me chuckle. "You seemed too relaxed as if it was something you were used to doing, playing a facade. But I had watched your videos on YouTube, how angelic your voice was when you sang with your all but even the camera seemed to scare you yet when there were roughly four photographers you played it off cool." I knew the moment he meant, I remember every aspect of it. "Yet we'd never talk much, we seemed distant and there's still so much I don't know about you."

Pondering my response I tore my eyes from his, unsure how to tell him it all. "Part of me wanted to make a good first impression, not necessarily the right impression of who I am but you've seen me tonight. I'm the one who dances and sings at concerts, talks to fans, plays in the leaves during Autumn, doesn't change out of her pyjamas until 4pm. Has a break down as she manages to fall in love with her fake boyfriend and somehow screw everything up. That's me. That's all you'll ever need to know about me Michael." My words were out there now, all the lingering thoughts had been spoken to him meaning I had nothing else to lose.

Four steps. Moving past him I couldn't help it, I saw a glimpse of his eyes go heavy. Placing my hand on his shoulder I brought my lips to his ear, whispering one apology and a final goodbye.

He doesn't bother following as I shut the door behind me, the layer of wood now permanently separating the two of us and I can't help but feel a tear fall down my face.

"You should've taken my advice kid." Gary appears and I wipe my eyes, taking a sniff before facing him. "Leave the country and don't tell him how you feel."

A dry laugh comes out and I nod, walking down the corridor with Gary next to me. "Well I already screwed up half of that plan, might as well put the other half to some use." I stated thinking nothing of it whereas Gary came to a halt, refusing to move.

"You're going?" He sounded so shocked, as if he never thought this would happen. I never thought it would end like this but it had to end, just didn't expect myself to get heartbroken in the mix of this.

Shrugging my shoulders I continued to walk, "It was only supposed to be a month Gary. I wasn't supposed to fall for him. Now he knows and it's up, I'm going home." He didn't argue with me after that but instead helped, before I knew it we were out of the venue and heading back to my apartment to pack my things before flying home.

Home. Away from Michael. Back to reality.